Archive for the toddlers Tag

Encouraging Early Learning: The Power of Poop

Children are exhausting.  Teddy won’t sleep anywhere but the pack and play in the basement bedroom.  Mac won’t use a writing implement.  There’s.  So.  Much.  Poop.  And laundry.   I haven’t slept in the same bed as my Husband in at least a month. Of course, this is probably a plus, since it makes for very effective birth control and
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Don’t Hate The Player: You Sad?

Hate the damned game. HATE.  THE.  GAME. UGUGH. . . . If you have more than one kid, you feel me. . . The minute you turn your undivided attention to one, the other suddenly turns into spawn of Satan. . .Or anything else that will get your attention in a hurry. Mac is STILL struggling with being knocked out
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The Learning Party

So a few weeks ago, one of the moms in our playgroup (yes, I’m typing that without irony, sarcasm, or bitterness – they’re cool), sent an email that one of the local schools was offering a once-weekly “Learning Party.” They had me at party. Parties are all cupcakes and booze and balloons and flowers. I really wanted the learning party.
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Toilet Training: Oh GAWD Just Put the Piss Where It Belongs! Before Someone DIES ALREADY!!

Every. Day. For WEEKS. I now completely relate to criminals.  The potty seat I carry EVERYWHERE is like my own damned house-arrest ankle-monitoring device. The rest of the time?  We’re actually under house arrest: “We can’t go until you tinkle.  Let’s try to make tinkles.  Show me what you’ve got, go!  hurry!  So we can do more fun stuff!” And,
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Daddy’s A Woozel! And I’m A FAILURE!

So yesterday was Mac’s 3-year well-child visit with the Pediatrician. And she didn’t disappoint. I walked out of there feeling like a complete parenting failure. As we all know, Mac is not fond of the Doctor, so I was initially feeling very fortunate he was just clinging to Chris for dear life and mildly hyperventilating as opposed to thrashing about
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Activating The Exhausted Ass Launch Sequence

You know the book?  The Napping House “where everyone is sleeping?” THAT’S NOT THIS DAMNED HOUSE! Teddy can’t sleep because Mac’s a loud, boisterous wild man.  Mac won’t sleep because. . .well, he’s a wild man. DO YOU KNOW HOW AWFUL EVERY AFTERNOON IS WITH TWO EXHAUSTED CHILDREN? EVERY.  AFTERNOON. It’s starting to wear on me. I need a PLAN.
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The Baby Won’t Eat, The Toddler Won’t Nap, and The Dog Has a Drinking Problem

Things have been busier than usual.  Easter, friends, travel. . .trying to get stuff done around the house. . .minor car issues. . . Anyway, it’s been a lot of ripping around – with two kids in tow.  It’s making me exhausted and I’m pretty sure we no longer have any semblance of routine. And that’s making me even MORE
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This Play Group Is On. . .Like Green On a Lime Jello Dino

So recall about a month ago we received an invite to a playgroup from one of our fabulous neighbors? I was out of sorts about it.  Because well, we’re US.  And our neighbor is stunning and seemingly unflappable and well, just seems so much more with it than I am. Of course, practically everyone is more with it than I
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The Brain Trust (Plus A Pizza, A Peep, And Our Pets)

So at this point, thanks to my horrific posting regularity, I likely have about three readers left. . .and that’s only if I text the link to my own Mother.  Otherwise, she won’t read either.  . .Sigh.  I’m committing to getting back on track.  I AM.  Big thanks for hanging in there with me! In the meantime, let’s talk about
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