Archive for the toddler Tag

I’m Not Raisin’ No Damned Play Doh Eating, Disrespectin’ Jerk

Except, it seems I am. I am having a difficult time controlling Mac. Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking of it as control, exactly?   Call it what you will, I fear he’s becoming a disrespectful little punk. It’s a phase right?  He’ll grow out of it? Except what if he doesn’t? I can’t chance it. We NEED an effective behavior
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A Completely Bullshit Tale of Two Bears. . .

Ok.  So I’m not sure I’m going to be able to post here every day until the baby gets a tad older.  He’s a bit unpredictable still in his routine (seven solid hours of sleep last night – whoo hoo!).  I’m going to try my best. Thanks for hanging in there while we navigated the holidays with a sick toddler.
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NOT CHILD’S PLAY: Screwing With A Toddler’s Routine

So you know I’m FREAKING OUT about giving birth to this second kid. It’s not the actual – ohmahgawdI’mgivingbirth! part that’s freaking me out. . .Although I do find that process rather barbaric and not at all the beautiful miracle people gush about. . . It’s the TODDLER. See, the Toddler and I have a dirty little secret:  He’ll only
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Sh%*^&$)t I Wish My Kid Would Un-Learn

New(ish) parent?  Reading this with your beautiful bundle of joy perfectly swaddled, cradled in the your arms, sleeping peacefully?  Can you barely breathe when you see her beautiful face?  Soooooo dreamy. . . WAKE UP!  SNAP OUT OF IT!   In a few short months, that swaddle won’t work worth a damn and while your co-existence will still hopefully be
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Keeping Perspective: Is that. . .A TURD?

Apologies for flaking yesterday.  I got awake at 4:30 all cranked on ripping the stuff out of our upper kitchen cabinets and cleaning them really well and re-organizing them. Mac has now graduated to outsmarting-the-childproofing on the kitchen DRAWERS too so anything that could pose a danger there needs to be relocated. . .Where do you hide your knives?!  I’m
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Because I Need To Get Something, ANYTHING Finished

Oh mah word!  This place.  Our house is starting to look like an episode of Hoarders.  And it’s not because we have a ton of stuff.  It’s because I can’t seem to find the time to get said stuff organized and put in its designated places. Of course, I thought I had all this time to get my act together
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Will The REAL Wubby Please Stand Up?

Yet again I did something I THOUGHT was kinda’ clever at the time I was doing it.  That should probably be written on my tombstone as certainly this sort of thinking will be the death of me. Anyway, when we were expecting Mac, I picked up several big packs of those Microfiber car detailing cloths in the automotive section of
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Because I’m Feeling Uncharacteristically Quiet Today. . .

But completely characteristically LAZY. . . Congrats to Sister and Brother In Law!  Their first child, a son, Michael was born last night just before 7PM.  He’s a long and skinny little guy.  And yes, she pushed considerably less than me. . .exactly 2 and a half hours less!  Not that I’m bitter. . .at all. . . Meanwhile, I’m
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In Which Sour Cream Nearly Causes The Kid To Have A Nervous Breakdown

Do you think toddlers know when they are acting like a jerk? I mean when I was a kid, I recall being able to recognize that I was behaving like an asshole. . .not that it stopped me. . .sometime around the age of four.  Yet I’m not sure what the state of my self-awareness was prior to that. I’m
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Once Again, I Stand Corrected

Remember how I was all enthralled with the pint-sized Ikea table and chairs Mac’s Grandparents gave him for his first birthday? Remember how I was all excited to share when I gave them a chalkboard paint upgrade? Remember I thought they were SUPER FUN?! I WAS WRONG!!! So terribly wrong. The other day I was in the kitchen prepping dinner when
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