Archive for the stay at home mom humor Tag

Life With Toddlers: (Mostly) Lost In Translation

We’re reading Apple Farmer Annie by Monica Wellington. . . Me:  Look, Annie’s making a bundt cake. Mac:  Mac wants to make a cake. Me:  You need a special pan for that kind of cake.  You should ask Mimi Aunt Carol or Grandma if you can bake one. Mac:  Mimi Aunt Carol and Grandma are going to make BUTT cake!!!
Read more…

You Can Accomplish This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: (BUT I’D ADVISE AGAINST IT) Walking Tacos

I feel like I’ve never been alive before this evening. I saw something on TV. Like really lame TV because we never watch TV so we no longer have cable. . .but still. . . It was a TV show about camping, or recipes, or trailer parks. . .I don’t know? I was trying to get Teddy to sleep. When
Read more…

So Doctor. . .About That EFFING Stick Figure. . .

So if you recall from last post, the Pediatrician encouraged me to show Mac how to draw stick figures. Male and female stick figures. It’s apparently vital to his development, well-being, and success as an adult. Or something. Here’s my stick figure story: When I was in grade school, there was this girl Susie.  She was really cool because she
Read more…

Makin’ It The Best Summer EV-AH!!!

You smell that? No, not the dead rat in the alley.   It’s freshly mowed grass and a hint of humidity. . .dew on the pavement. . .SUNSHINE.  It’s SUNSHINE!  Warm, sweet, sunshine! Summer is nearly here! Parents bitch about summer.  Presumably because their kids are on summer break from school and acting all BORED and OBNOXIOUS. I, however, don’t
Read more…

Maniacs, Mindfulness, And A Roof Rack

A few weeks ago I emailed our Pediatrician because I was still concerned about the condition of Teddy’s skin.  If you recall, we switched up his formula and were using a prescription hydrocortisone cream but he wasn’t making the sort of improvement I expected. Predictably, the Doctor, sent a response saying she’d like to see him the next day. Of
Read more…

The Baby Won’t Eat, The Toddler Won’t Nap, and The Dog Has a Drinking Problem

Things have been busier than usual.  Easter, friends, travel. . .trying to get stuff done around the house. . .minor car issues. . . Anyway, it’s been a lot of ripping around – with two kids in tow.  It’s making me exhausted and I’m pretty sure we no longer have any semblance of routine. And that’s making me even MORE
Read more…

Life Lesson: The DUMBEST Argument EVER!

I think it’s well established that I’m a little um particular about things. . . Ok. . . You got me.  I’m a type-A, control freak. . . And I’d probably be a perfectionist too if I weren’t so damned lazy.  . . Anyway, I am.  I just am.  This is what I do.  . . And I like to
Read more…

TRUTH: Sharing Sucks.

We survived our quick trip late last week.  A dinner and cake party with Mac’s Godparents and their children Saturday evening.  A picnic at Chris’ Parents’ last evening.  And today we’re off to the B&O Railroad Museum with the paternal Grandparents in honor of Mac’s birthday. Anyway, as you might imagine, it’s been extremely hectic around here. . . And
Read more…

SAHM ISO Adult for Non-Committal Relationship For The Express Purpose of Exchanging Pleasantries

I’m sort of a loner. I don’t really need a lot of human interaction.  I just don’t. Never have. BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t want ANY non-spousal adult interaction. Ok. . .most days I’m perfectly happy without any adult interaction. . . Yet, I will admit a few minutes of small talk with an acquaintance is nice periodically.  Just
Read more…

Just Like a Turd That Won’t Flush. . .

I’m no laundry superstar. I don’t sort.  I don’t  bleach.  I don’t pretreat. We have “regular laundry” which is (nearly) everything and it gets washed on cold.  And we have diapers.  They get washed in the super hot sanitary cycle. That’s it.  With no fewer than two loads of laundry a day, that’s all I can handle. I don’t check
Read more…