Archive for the reluctant mother Tag

Will The REAL Wubby Please Stand Up?

Yet again I did something I THOUGHT was kinda’ clever at the time I was doing it.  That should probably be written on my tombstone as certainly this sort of thinking will be the death of me. Anyway, when we were expecting Mac, I picked up several big packs of those Microfiber car detailing cloths in the automotive section of
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In Which Sour Cream Nearly Causes The Kid To Have A Nervous Breakdown

Do you think toddlers know when they are acting like a jerk? I mean when I was a kid, I recall being able to recognize that I was behaving like an asshole. . .not that it stopped me. . .sometime around the age of four.  Yet I’m not sure what the state of my self-awareness was prior to that. I’m
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Because I SAID SO!!

Tonight my Husband cut me off. I know you’re all thinking he cut me off from the rum and how smart that was of him. . .but you’re WRONG SUCKAS’! He cut me off mid-sentence. Chris asked a simple question:  He asked if dog should come upstairs to bed with him as he was going to bed before me and
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The Pitfalls of Parenting Through Technology

Certainly iPhones have revolutionized parenting.  If not for iPhones, we would be horrible parents. . .Ok.  Maybe not horrible, but definitely not the awesome ones we are with them. The kid has never known a time without these magical little devices. In mere hours after his birth, he was using an iPhone.   Well, at least he was passively using
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Good In Bed?

If you survey our bedroom, it looks pretty standard – dresser, chest of drawers, closet. . . Plus about three half-eaten cookies on the bedside table, a dozen discarded Cheerios, and 25 random Lego’s litter the floor. It looks normal at first glance.  But don’t be fooled. I have a kinky secret.   Yep.  It’s true. . . I awake
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DO NOT PANIC!!! It’s Just Another Explosion of Parental STUPIDITY

Oh, if only I had a nickel for every time I told myself not to panic!   My inept parenting skills get me into plenty of dire situations but this time could be the worst yet:  I COMBINED MY INEPT PARENTING SKILLS WITH A REASONABLE SUGGESTION FROM MY HUSBAND! NEVER, never try this. . .it’s like fire and gasoline. .
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Reluctant Mother v The Squirrels

I have to confess something:  I’m scared to go to the Park. It’s not the fear of junkies or garbage or any of the other unsavory things you might imagine inhabit an urban park. . . It’s the SQUIRRELS!! Yes.  The squirrels. They’re out to get me. They have almost succeed twice in nearly as many days. Oh you can
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Animal Crackers Reluctant Mother Style

You remember about the time Mac turned one, we noticed he seemed to have some interest in the potty? So we purchased him a potty seat. We used it sporadically with some success. But a few months later, he seemed to lose interest entirely. I figured since he was so young, I wouldn’t force the issue.  But I did remind
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New Year’s Eve: Of Resolutions and Regret. . .

Everyone gets all jazzed about the New Year.  They get all excited about self-improvement and organization and not slurping a bottle of wine for dinner every other night.   My Twitter feed is positively buzzing with talk of “cleanses” and the purchase of storage tubs and trying to fit into high school sized pants. Every time I see one of
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Thanks For The Memories!

For anyone that checks out this little slice of Internet Heaven on a routine basis, you are well aware I am a repeat offender, perpetually at the top of everyone’s naughty list. Fortunately for me, “naughty” is a relative term and my Husband clearly has a high tolerance for insanity, bullshit, irresponsibility, and sloth. . .which means the poor guy
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