Archive for the poop Tag

Life Lesson: The Boy Who Cried Poop

It’s been a while. I’m too scared to check my blog stats so I have no idea if anyone visits here any longer. Because that’s EXACTLY how I deal with unpleasant things I’m terrified of. . .ignore, deny, avoid. Except sometimes a situation is so nefarious, so dire, so urgent it MUST be immediately addressed. . . Like when your
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Encouraging Early Learning: The Power of Poop

Children are exhausting.  Teddy won’t sleep anywhere but the pack and play in the basement bedroom.  Mac won’t use a writing implement.  There’s.  So.  Much.  Poop.  And laundry.   I haven’t slept in the same bed as my Husband in at least a month. Of course, this is probably a plus, since it makes for very effective birth control and
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Toilet Training: Oh GAWD Just Put the Piss Where It Belongs! Before Someone DIES ALREADY!!

Every. Day. For WEEKS. I now completely relate to criminals.  The potty seat I carry EVERYWHERE is like my own damned house-arrest ankle-monitoring device. The rest of the time?  We’re actually under house arrest: “We can’t go until you tinkle.  Let’s try to make tinkles.  Show me what you’ve got, go!  hurry!  So we can do more fun stuff!” And,
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For The Last Time, Mommy DOES NOT Have A Penis!

Time is rapidly getting away from me.  It’s insane how fast the day goes when almost every moment feels like a damned triage situation.  Mac is rapidly barreling towards three years complete with major meltdowns about EVERYTHING, nap refusals, and extreme frustration which nearly always manifests itself as physical aggression. Anyway, at some point over the past month, he decided
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Keeping Perspective: Is that. . .A TURD?

Apologies for flaking yesterday.  I got awake at 4:30 all cranked on ripping the stuff out of our upper kitchen cabinets and cleaning them really well and re-organizing them. Mac has now graduated to outsmarting-the-childproofing on the kitchen DRAWERS too so anything that could pose a danger there needs to be relocated. . .Where do you hide your knives?!  I’m
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Possibly the Grossest Thing I’ve Ever Witnessed. . .Twice.

This isn’t about my kid or what we did yesterday.  It’s a story from when I was younger. . .but I’m hoping you’ll read it anyway.  I promise it’s gross-funny. In December of 1992, I reached the magical age of 15.5 years, this was the age kids in my area could get a part-time job.  Despite my field hockey practices,
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Friday Funny: Look, Do U Want It To Poop Or Not?! The SEQUEL

Ohmahdearlawd!!  My Sister’s Kids are a comedic goldmine!  And she should do stand up comedy.  Here’s my completely unoriginal, kinda’ crass (and graphic), (hopefully) funny for your FRIDAY.  Thank you Sister!: 1.  Here are the deets regarding the title of this post.  Gavmomof2 commented “I have visions of my 70s baby alive doll mixed with the stare of chuckie!  LOL!” I’ll let
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“Look, Do U Want It To Poop Or Not?”

Long time readers of this blog know I have two sisters and two brothers.  One sister just had her first baby about 5 weeks ago.  The other sister has a son age 12 and a daughter age 6.  They are amazing children.  Still, she has her hands plenty full. Friday night about 11:30, I was in the depths of our
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FRIDAY FUNNY: Another Remarkable Poop Product!

I was reading a Good Housekeeping magazine the other day and smack in the middle of the magazine I found this full-page ad! In Good Housekeeping?! Really?! I wonder if it would work on our kitty litter boxes? Also, I’ve been a little MIA the past couple days.  I’ve been working on something else that is a joke: Yes, that’s my
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Reluctant Mother Remains Calm When Vaca Plans Literally Go In Crapper Plus A Bonus Turd In the Punchbowl

So this is the state of affairs around here this afternoon. Except there’s one aspect of this debacle you thankfully can’t experience:  The Stench. See, we are supposed to get out-of-town for a few days to do some birding in the southern part of the state.  (Staying in a hotel. . .with a waterfront balcony and proper room service, thank
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