Archive for the parenting Tag

Parenting Fail? Teeing Up A Shitty September. . .And October. . .And FOREVER!?

BLERGH!! My head is spinning. . .and it’s not lack of sleep and copious booze (this time). Positively spinning. . . I feel like I just got a gigantic bucket of obligatory preschool activity shit dumped on me. And what have I done? sign up.  STROKE CHECK.  sign up.  STROKE CHECK.  sign up.  STROKE CHECK. erhmahgawd we’ll be broke in
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Life Lesson: The Boy Who Cried Poop

It’s been a while. I’m too scared to check my blog stats so I have no idea if anyone visits here any longer. Because that’s EXACTLY how I deal with unpleasant things I’m terrified of. . .ignore, deny, avoid. Except sometimes a situation is so nefarious, so dire, so urgent it MUST be immediately addressed. . . Like when your
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Encouraging Early Learning: The Power of Poop

Children are exhausting.  Teddy won’t sleep anywhere but the pack and play in the basement bedroom.  Mac won’t use a writing implement.  There’s.  So.  Much.  Poop.  And laundry.   I haven’t slept in the same bed as my Husband in at least a month. Of course, this is probably a plus, since it makes for very effective birth control and
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Don’t Hate The Player: You Sad?

Hate the damned game. HATE.  THE.  GAME. UGUGH. . . . If you have more than one kid, you feel me. . . The minute you turn your undivided attention to one, the other suddenly turns into spawn of Satan. . .Or anything else that will get your attention in a hurry. Mac is STILL struggling with being knocked out
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This, That, and The Other. . .

I have a list a mile long of stuff I want to post. Time is NOT on my side. For one thing, Teddy has recently decided he LOVES feeding himself. So now I have two children dumping enough food on the floor on a daily basis to feed a small country.  And that small country is apparently Satan’s Lap Hound.
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In Which Reluctant Mother Offers Son A Life Lesson While Soaking In A Urine Filled Wading Pool

I have a love/hate relationship with the Patterson Park Pool. It’s a good pool.  It’s sometimes full of bad people. They’re not really bad.  They just act badly.   And they’re REALLY good at it. . .Seriously, the adults yell at the staff about ridiculous shit.  So.  Much.  Yelling.   It’s cheap but therefore unreliable in schedule, staff, rules, chlorine
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You’re Doing It Wrong: Toilet Training

SO. . .about 6 weeks ago Mac saw the Doctor for his three-year well child visit.  And at this particular visit, she upbraided me because he was “a bit behind” since he couldn’t draw male and female stick figures and refused to identify colors on demand. . . And worst of all because he wasn’t toilet trained yet. . .
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Shoplifting Damnit! Not Again! Damnit!!

This has to stop. I inadvertently shoplifted.  Again. The other morning we took a walk and ran a couple of errands.  One of the things we needed to do was pick up some nutmeg for the zucchini muffins Mac and I were going to bake later that day. We went crashing into the grocery and made a beeline for the
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Ahhhnd This Is Why My Flat Iron is in the Trash. Are You Happy NOW?!

Dear Darling Sons, I adore you. I give you as much of myself as I can every day. I don’t have a house cleaner.  I don’t have a babysitter/nanny.  There is no fancy pre-pre-preK formal education happening.  I don’t have meals delivered. . .(That’s right.  Not even pizza.  But once a quarter sushi. . .whatever, no one’s PERFECT!). Where was
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