Archive for the humor Tag

Friday Funny: The Happy New Year Edition

Somehow I find myself awake, alone and without any pressing chores this morning.  That hasn’t happened since before Teddy was born over a year ago. Teddy.  He’s a willful little creature.  And not a stellar sleeper.  For all the complaining I did about Mac’s sleeping, I realize now he was really a rock star compared to most children. I was
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New Year’s Eve Mystery: A Story About A Bitch and Her Broom. . .

So, we have a lot of catching up to do. . .And I own that mess.  And I’m hoping I can clean it all up. . . Anyway, speaking of cleaning up. . . I actually like like like some of the women I met at the neighbor’s playgroup nearly a year ago.  And when the weather is good we
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“Your Children Have Magnificent Heads”

OF HAIR? MAGNIFICENT HEADS OF HAIR?! RIGHT?!!!!! THESE BOYS HAVE GREAT HAIR! Nope. Not.  Even.  Close. “So Mom, these kids have ginormous heads.  How did that work out for you?  Ouch.” Said the volunteer at the Patterson Park Pagoda. Is this even happening?   What?   Hold up. You’ve seen my children and all you can mention is that they
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Life Lesson: The Boy Who Cried Poop

It’s been a while. I’m too scared to check my blog stats so I have no idea if anyone visits here any longer. Because that’s EXACTLY how I deal with unpleasant things I’m terrified of. . .ignore, deny, avoid. Except sometimes a situation is so nefarious, so dire, so urgent it MUST be immediately addressed. . . Like when your
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The Learning Party

So a few weeks ago, one of the moms in our playgroup (yes, I’m typing that without irony, sarcasm, or bitterness – they’re cool), sent an email that one of the local schools was offering a once-weekly “Learning Party.” They had me at party. Parties are all cupcakes and booze and balloons and flowers. I really wanted the learning party.
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You Can Accomplish This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: (BUT I’D ADVISE AGAINST IT) Walking Tacos

I feel like I’ve never been alive before this evening. I saw something on TV. Like really lame TV because we never watch TV so we no longer have cable. . .but still. . . It was a TV show about camping, or recipes, or trailer parks. . .I don’t know? I was trying to get Teddy to sleep. When
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Shoplifting Damnit! Not Again! Damnit!!

This has to stop. I inadvertently shoplifted.  Again. The other morning we took a walk and ran a couple of errands.  One of the things we needed to do was pick up some nutmeg for the zucchini muffins Mac and I were going to bake later that day. We went crashing into the grocery and made a beeline for the
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You Can Accomplish This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Get Off Your Butt and Get Your Butter On

Ahhhhnnnddddd here I am phoning in a lame post on a Monday. My sincerest apologies. Pretty sure today is going to involve my toilet training toddler refusing to poop in the potty so. . . Yeah. . . Distracted. . . and seriously second-guessing that law degree. . Anyway, summer is getting into full swing in these parts and we’ve
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Friday Funny: The Greatest Gift Of All

My Mother-in-Law is a very kind woman.  And considerate. Me? I’m mostly a jerk. So you can imagine how she must feel about anything she does for me. Conflicted?  Mildly beat up?  Angry? Anyway, I love her and despite my insanity and jerk disposition, I do appreciate all that she does for our family. So I had a birthday a
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The BREAST err BEST Father’s Day EV-AH!

So Saturday, we decided we’d take the boys to North Point State Park for one of our most favorite hikes. There are snakes. . . But the trail is worth it. In a short, easy walk on the Black Marsh Trail, you can experience shaded woods, a large marsh environment, an abandoned building, AND a beach.  And if you’re standing
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