Archive for the humor Tag

NOT THE VAGINA!!!! (Educator-Approved)

Kids.  Crack. Me. Up.  (And have led to my almost cracking.  Why won’t they sleep?!) So a few months ago, we were in the restroom at Safeway and Mac screams “Mommy, I want a vagina!” Now this was something I didn’t expect to hear until he was a teenager, but his request was heard loud and clear by everyone else
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What the Shit? Cancer Bear?!

We’re no strangers to solicitors.  They are routine visitors in our neighborhood.  Sometimes, we open the door.  Sometimes we do not. Although we’ve been opening the door a lot more frequently. . .ever since Mac has discovered a knock at the door often equates to a package delivery.  And maaannnn does that kid love him a package delivery. One evening
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#happylifetweaks: Managing the Melissa & Doug Sticker Mess

A few years ago, I read a blog post discussing great quiet activities and toys for toddlers and preschoolers.  One of the suggested toys was the Melissa & Doug brand reusable sticker sets. Reusable stickers?  I was intrigued. A quick Amazon search revealed they’re basically like the Colorforms of my childhood – only way better. I loved Colorforms!  I HAVE
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Taking the Kids to See A Pair of Brown Boobies. . .

I can’t believe people still check my blog daily! THANK YOU!!!!  THANK YOU!! Anyway, we’re plugging along and Mac’s in preK 4 a couple of hours several days a week and Teddy attends a 2-year-old program once a week.  He’s like the damned mayor of that place. . .all “Hey, Ms. Cetta.”  It’s disgustingly adorable.  (Her name is Concetta but
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Reluctant Mother Attempts #Happylifetweaks

So, it’s frequently cold and dark in these parts this time of year.  Whether you have children or not, the weather might leave you feeling a little glum. I’m certainly hearing from several of my “mom friends” that the winter is starting to wear on them mentally, emotionally. . .parenting feels harder. . .motivation is lacking. . .chores feel wretched.
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ANOTHER Dirty Parenting Secret: The Partially Supervised (Ahem) Car) Nap

Parents, grandparents, nannys, caregivers – Multiple Choice: If a kid falls asleep in the car (or stroller, or swing, or. . .) If your kid falls asleep ANY. DAMNED. WHERE. FOR. A. NAP: A.)  You are elated. B.)  You will sleep too. C.)  You will do ANY FUCKING THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY MANAGE to make this nap happen. EVEN THOUGH
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“And I Shall Name Him Baby Dutch!”

In early October we took the kids to the beach for the weekend.  I really prefer the beach in the fall after all the tourists and humidity are gone. We had a really nice time.  Our lodging wasn’t exactly luxury but it was a block from the Ocean and it had a little indoor pool and a separate bedroom –
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Friday Funny: Toddler’s First Insult

If you’re on Twitter, you might have already seem similar content. . . However, the occasion was so important I wanted to make sure I properly recorded it:  MAC DOLED OUT HIS FIRST INSULT!!! The target? Mommy.  Of course. Notice the coat I’m wearing in this photo.  I REALLY like this coat.  It’s super warm, it fits well, it’s not
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That! Oh S%&*$T Not THAT!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

Teddy hasn’t gotten much press here. . .   Mostly because he’s busy taking up all of my time with poor sleeping and other various willful and assertive acts. . . At some point in the past six weeks. . .or maybe months?  (He is the younger kid.  I’m terrible.), he started pointing at everything and screaming “THAT!” Uh hum.
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You Can Do This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Make a T-Shirt of Questionable Taste

WARNING:  If you are super sensitive and/or uptight you might be offended by this post. . .Possibly more so than the rest of my posts.  You should probably stop reading now. So one of my Brother’s has a wicked sense of humor.  And though I don’t get to see him often, whenever we get together, we laugh so hard our
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