Archive for the hilarious Tag

Friday Funny: It’s Like Santa For Your Vagina

I’m dying!!!! It might not be suitable for work. . .depending on your office environment Or some men. . . But oh my lawd, hilarious!!!! We all knew THIS girl right?  The one who got her period first and knew it ALL! Only she’s way funnier in this advertisement. . . Camp Gyno Ad for Hello Flo (It’s a quick
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Possibly the Grossest Thing I’ve Ever Witnessed. . .Twice.

This isn’t about my kid or what we did yesterday.  It’s a story from when I was younger. . .but I’m hoping you’ll read it anyway.  I promise it’s gross-funny. In December of 1992, I reached the magical age of 15.5 years, this was the age kids in my area could get a part-time job.  Despite my field hockey practices,
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I Skipped Church and My Breasts Look Fabulous!

It’s often all too convenient for a slovenly stay at home mother like myself to ignore her foundation garments. Don’t worry.  This isn’t a post discussing my quest for fancy knickers. Or perhaps I owe you an apology? Because this is about my quest is contain my ample sweater meat.  And I skipped church in my quest to do so.
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“Look, Do U Want It To Poop Or Not?”

Long time readers of this blog know I have two sisters and two brothers.  One sister just had her first baby about 5 weeks ago.  The other sister has a son age 12 and a daughter age 6.  They are amazing children.  Still, she has her hands plenty full. Friday night about 11:30, I was in the depths of our
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If the Shoe Doesn’t Fit, You Must Return It. . .

A few weeks ago, it became apparent Mac was in need of a new pair of shoes.  Now, we hadn’t reached the critical point of having to fold his toes under his foot to get his current pair of shoes on, but we were getting close. These sorts of purchases stress me out.  I know my Husband wants the most
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New Year’s Eve: Of Resolutions and Regret. . .

Everyone gets all jazzed about the New Year.  They get all excited about self-improvement and organization and not slurping a bottle of wine for dinner every other night.   My Twitter feed is positively buzzing with talk of “cleanses” and the purchase of storage tubs and trying to fit into high school sized pants. Every time I see one of
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Thanks For The Memories!

For anyone that checks out this little slice of Internet Heaven on a routine basis, you are well aware I am a repeat offender, perpetually at the top of everyone’s naughty list. Fortunately for me, “naughty” is a relative term and my Husband clearly has a high tolerance for insanity, bullshit, irresponsibility, and sloth. . .which means the poor guy
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And. . .Then. . .

Me in a text to Chris early in the morning:  “I feel all sick and disoriented.  My arm is doing that weird numb thing again.  I wish you were here.” Chris:  “You should probably see a doctor.  Are you ok?” Me:  “I’m fine.  I probably just slept on my arm weird.” 10 HOURS LATER. . . . Chris:  How do
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Once Again, I Stand Corrected

Remember how I was all enthralled with the pint-sized Ikea table and chairs Mac’s Grandparents gave him for his first birthday? Remember how I was all excited to share when I gave them a chalkboard paint upgrade? Remember I thought they were SUPER FUN?! I WAS WRONG!!! So terribly wrong. The other day I was in the kitchen prepping dinner when
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Dear Santa

Dear Santa, I’m truly blessed.  In fact, I can’t think of one single thing you could bring me this year.  I have the best husband, a happy, healthy little boy, a nice house, food to eat, and more clothes and material stuff than one person could need. . . So I’m hoping you’ll honor my requests for a few OTHERS
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