Archive for the funny Tag

What the Shit? Cancer Bear?!

We’re no strangers to solicitors.  They are routine visitors in our neighborhood.  Sometimes, we open the door.  Sometimes we do not. Although we’ve been opening the door a lot more frequently. . .ever since Mac has discovered a knock at the door often equates to a package delivery.  And maaannnn does that kid love him a package delivery. One evening
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Taking the Kids to See A Pair of Brown Boobies. . .

I can’t believe people still check my blog daily! THANK YOU!!!!  THANK YOU!! Anyway, we’re plugging along and Mac’s in preK 4 a couple of hours several days a week and Teddy attends a 2-year-old program once a week.  He’s like the damned mayor of that place. . .all “Hey, Ms. Cetta.”  It’s disgustingly adorable.  (Her name is Concetta but
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Life With Toddlers: (Mostly) Lost In Translation

We’re reading Apple Farmer Annie by Monica Wellington. . . Me:  Look, Annie’s making a bundt cake. Mac:  Mac wants to make a cake. Me:  You need a special pan for that kind of cake.  You should ask Mimi Aunt Carol or Grandma if you can bake one. Mac:  Mimi Aunt Carol and Grandma are going to make BUTT cake!!!
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Rice Sock For Penis Hanging AND Hanging With Penises. . .

RICE SOCK FOR PENIS HANGING. This is apparently what’s been leading some of you to this dysfunctional corner of the Internet. I apologize, I haven’t a clue what a “rice sock for penis hanging” is. (I have a few mental images. . . .making me giggle in a nervous kinda he-hee.) Somewhat related, I recently learned from my three-year old
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Lame-Ass Sticker Chart: Don’t Knock It, ‘Til You Try It

So I don’t want to terrify any of you “newish” parents but THREE IS THE WORST! WORST. At least until 13-ish. Anyway, Mac, I’m happy to report, seems to be developmentally on track:  meaning he’s continually whining, crying, resisting, bargaining, and generally attempting to get his world to work FOR HIM everyone else be damned. And it’s lead to some
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Who The EFF is Riley?! Damn, Who The Hell Am I?

Ok. You know me, you know this much:  I am a Mom and I take that seriously – more seriously than I’ve ever pursued anything else in my life. I want to soak up every moment I have with my children before they decide they hate me err become independent. . .So, I. AM. ALWAYS. LURKING. We don’t have babysitters.
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It’s the Friday Funny: Husband v. Used Car

Just before Teddy was born, we got a “new to us” car.  There was just no way I could cram another car seat into my VW convertible.   And while I’d love to be a one car family, Baltimore just isn’t completely there yet with its public transportation system. . . Anyway, it was a used car but a NICE
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“And I Shall Name Him Baby Dutch!”

In early October we took the kids to the beach for the weekend.  I really prefer the beach in the fall after all the tourists and humidity are gone. We had a really nice time.  Our lodging wasn’t exactly luxury but it was a block from the Ocean and it had a little indoor pool and a separate bedroom –
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That! Oh S%&*$T Not THAT!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

Teddy hasn’t gotten much press here. . .   Mostly because he’s busy taking up all of my time with poor sleeping and other various willful and assertive acts. . . At some point in the past six weeks. . .or maybe months?  (He is the younger kid.  I’m terrible.), he started pointing at everything and screaming “THAT!” Uh hum.
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You Can Do This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Make a T-Shirt of Questionable Taste

WARNING:  If you are super sensitive and/or uptight you might be offended by this post. . .Possibly more so than the rest of my posts.  You should probably stop reading now. So one of my Brother’s has a wicked sense of humor.  And though I don’t get to see him often, whenever we get together, we laugh so hard our
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