Archive for the 'The Pregnant and Delusional Reluctant Mother' Category

If You’re Reading This, I’m STILL (Multiple) Expletive Pregnant

Although, due date is still a couple days away. . .and we all know that’s just a good guess. I would really, really like to avoid an induction if possible after my prior experience with that stupid process. However, at the last Doctor’s visit, this Doc hinted I could likely go as long as 42 weeks if we stayed healthy.
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Another Post Where I Mock My Husband’s Misguided Attempts To Be Considerate

So as you all know, I’m a few days away from my due date with our second little Sprout. And I’m obsessed. But not the way you might think. . . I’m not worried about bonding, or juggling two kids, or the extra stress or work, or the lack of sleep. . . We can handle it.  I can handle
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Sex. While VERY Pregnant. I Went There. . .Consider Yourself Warned. . .

Sooooooooo. . .We’re rapidly approaching due date around here.  And I’m DYING to be done being pregnant. I don’t particularly enjoy pregnancy and while this one has been pretty great, all things considered, I just want to be able to drink wine and eat blue cheese in my standard-issue fat pants again. A while ago, I got a stupid idea
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Reluctant Mother and the Case of the Dangling Placenta

I hate that word.  Placenta.  I find it gross for some reason.  I’ll bet it looks vile in person  too.  G R O S S. Lucky me, this pregnancy has been nothing but PLACENTA.  Placenta.  Placenta. Months ago, one of the capable if not completely over-eager ultrasound technicians thought part of this disgusting organ might be hanging around in a
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Just Another Typical Day: Handling A Stranger’s Urine

Yesterday afternoon I had a prenatal check up.  We’re closing in on 33 weeks and I’m amazed at how good things have been going.  This pregnancy is much better than the first.  I didn’t really expect any surprises or problems at this appointment. . . I should know better. I arrived at said appointment on time.  This was a miracle
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My Baby Bump Was Assaulted By A Drunk!

So remember from yesterday’s uncharacteristically “thoughtful” post, we had dinner with my in-laws last weekend? We went to church Saturday evening.  Church was hotter than hell itself.  I’m certain of it.  I CANNOT believe we picked a church without air conditioning!  I’ll NEVER make that mistake again. It was touch and go, but we all made it out alive.  And
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Preparing for the Unexpected: A Control Freak’s Guide to A Second Baby

There are exactly 12 weeks left until due date!! Time to stock the liquor cabinet!!!!! But besides stocking the liquor cabinet what am I up to? Oh you know. . .the usual, trying to locate all the baby gear I swore I never wanted to see again after Mac was born, slapping a few coats of paint on a few
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Clearly There Was A Disconnect. . .

As we are all PAINFULLY aware,  there’s a baby brother about to come crashing into this joint in about 86 days (not that I’m keeping count). . . And while I’m furiously trying to locate those 800 back-up crib sheets I purchased for Mac when his newborn disposable diapers seemed to keep leaking on us, I thought it might also
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Can You Just Leave My Placenta Alone ALREADY?!

Shee-us . . . I’m so sick of this pregnancy. It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I haven’t had booze in at least 27 weeks. It’s not the poor sleep or the fact that I’m certain this kid somehow manages to stick his arm OUT of my uterus into the birth canal at least 16 times
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