Archive for the 'Required Reading: Diary of a Reluctant Mother' Category

NOT THE VAGINA!!!! (Educator-Approved)

Kids.  Crack. Me. Up.  (And have led to my almost cracking.  Why won’t they sleep?!) So a few months ago, we were in the restroom at Safeway and Mac screams “Mommy, I want a vagina!” Now this was something I didn’t expect to hear until he was a teenager, but his request was heard loud and clear by everyone else
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What the Shit? Cancer Bear?!

We’re no strangers to solicitors.  They are routine visitors in our neighborhood.  Sometimes, we open the door.  Sometimes we do not. Although we’ve been opening the door a lot more frequently. . .ever since Mac has discovered a knock at the door often equates to a package delivery.  And maaannnn does that kid love him a package delivery. One evening
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#happylifetweaks: Managing the Melissa & Doug Sticker Mess

A few years ago, I read a blog post discussing great quiet activities and toys for toddlers and preschoolers.  One of the suggested toys was the Melissa & Doug brand reusable sticker sets. Reusable stickers?  I was intrigued. A quick Amazon search revealed they’re basically like the Colorforms of my childhood – only way better. I loved Colorforms!  I HAVE
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Taking the Kids to See A Pair of Brown Boobies. . .

I can’t believe people still check my blog daily! THANK YOU!!!!  THANK YOU!! Anyway, we’re plugging along and Mac’s in preK 4 a couple of hours several days a week and Teddy attends a 2-year-old program once a week.  He’s like the damned mayor of that place. . .all “Hey, Ms. Cetta.”  It’s disgustingly adorable.  (Her name is Concetta but
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Life With Toddlers: (Mostly) Lost In Translation

We’re reading Apple Farmer Annie by Monica Wellington. . . Me:  Look, Annie’s making a bundt cake. Mac:  Mac wants to make a cake. Me:  You need a special pan for that kind of cake.  You should ask Mimi Aunt Carol or Grandma if you can bake one. Mac:  Mimi Aunt Carol and Grandma are going to make BUTT cake!!!
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Reluctant Mother v Dining With Grandpa: AM I WRONG?

WEIGH IN HERE.  I have a burning curiosity. . . TAKE YOUR KIDS TO A RESTAURANT.  THERE’S A PREDICTABLE MESS ON THE FLOOR.  DO YOU: A.) Make a reasonable attempt to clean up some of the mess.  It sets a good example for your children about being considerate, kind, and respectful.  Reinforces the message we are responsible for our own
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Good Bye Good Dog: Be Good, Watch the House, Ok? Whuvyou

5 AM:  I have a screaming, snotty, teething Teddy on my hip.  I’m slipping down the stairs in my socks. . .feels cold. . Thankfully, Chris has already made coffee.  Vigorously blinking to keep my contacts comfortably floating, I head to the place by the back door where we keep Satan’s Lap Hound’s gigantic stainless water bowl, lest Teddy attempt
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Lame-Ass Sticker Chart: Don’t Knock It, ‘Til You Try It

So I don’t want to terrify any of you “newish” parents but THREE IS THE WORST! WORST. At least until 13-ish. Anyway, Mac, I’m happy to report, seems to be developmentally on track:  meaning he’s continually whining, crying, resisting, bargaining, and generally attempting to get his world to work FOR HIM everyone else be damned. And it’s lead to some
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Reluctant Mother Attempts #Happylifetweaks

So, it’s frequently cold and dark in these parts this time of year.  Whether you have children or not, the weather might leave you feeling a little glum. I’m certainly hearing from several of my “mom friends” that the winter is starting to wear on them mentally, emotionally. . .parenting feels harder. . .motivation is lacking. . .chores feel wretched.
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ANOTHER Dirty Parenting Secret: The Partially Supervised (Ahem) Car) Nap

Parents, grandparents, nannys, caregivers – Multiple Choice: If a kid falls asleep in the car (or stroller, or swing, or. . .) If your kid falls asleep ANY. DAMNED. WHERE. FOR. A. NAP: A.)  You are elated. B.)  You will sleep too. C.)  You will do ANY FUCKING THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY MANAGE to make this nap happen. EVEN THOUGH
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