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Life With Toddlers: (Mostly) Lost In Translation

We’re reading Apple Farmer Annie by Monica Wellington. . .

Me:  Look, Annie’s making a bundt cake.

Mac:  Mac wants to make a cake.

Me:  You need a special pan for that kind of cake.  You should ask Mimi Aunt Carol or Grandma if you can bake one.

Mac:  Mimi Aunt Carol and Grandma are going to make BUTT cake!!!

Yum.

 

Easter Monday. . .

Mac has (sadly, predictably) placed half a plastic egg over his penis.

He quickly determines he needs the um larger part of the egg for maximum coverage.

Mac:  “It’s a penis cover.”

Me:  “Plastic Easter eggs are most assuredly not ‘penis covers.'”

And I can’t help but think of that Cameo video from the 80’s. . .(and yes, I’ve wasted no fewer than 37 minutes entranced and recalling my glory days of Night Tracks and sleep-overs.)

It does seem some of this era is coming back into fashion.

Who knows?  Maybe Mac is a total trendsetter?  Maybe I shouldn’t discourage the whole concept? 

 

This One?  Got it.  Loud and Clear. . .

Me:  “Hey Teddy, did you make poops?”

Teddy:  Looks at me, starts laughing hysterically, smacks his ass and screams “YEAH!  POOPS!”

 

Repeated OUCH!. . .But It Finally Clicked. . .

Teddy:  “OUCH!”

Races towards me, head down, full steam slams into my leg and

BITES ME!

Me:  “Teddy, the rule is no biting.  Stop.”

Redirect his attention.

Twelve Seconds later. .

Teddy:  “OUCH!”

It took about seven more biting attempts however, I did eventually figure out his teeth were killing him and gave him some medicine and something cool to gnaw on.

 

I’ve Got Nothin’. . .

Can anyone explain why there are no fewer than 60 photos of this on my photo stream?!

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