Home » Reluctant Mother v Dining With Grandpa: AM I WRONG?

Reluctant Mother v Dining With Grandpa: AM I WRONG?

WEIGH IN HERE.  I have a burning curiosity. . .


A.) Make a reasonable attempt to clean up some of the mess.  It sets a good example for your children about being considerate, kind, and respectful.  Reinforces the message we are responsible for our own actions/messes.

B.) Leave shit everywhere, example be damned.

C.) Leave shit everywhere, example be damned and up the tip.

D.) Implore Mom to leave shit everywhere because she might be making the wait staff “feel  bad.”  Despite the fact that Mom spent plenty of years being said “wait staff” and always appreciated any help she could get (especially during rush times).  Plus, Mom is way more concerned about the example she’s setting for her children than an ADULT SERVER’S EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING.

Right. . .

We go through this every time we eat with Grandpa.

I’m not going to stop cleaning up after my children or expecting anyone to help while we dine out.  

I’ve waited tables.  I’ve cleaned up horrific restaurant bathrooms.  I know what it’s like to get slammed with a bus-full of high school snotty assed kids who destroy a dining room and simultaneously attempt to feel you up.

Food service is challenging.

You’re underpaid and expected to over-deliver.

No one gives a shit about your feelings or your paycheck or your family or anything else.

I’m hoping my own children understand this when they are slinging burgers one day.  Because I  think they should.  It’s one of the most humbling things you can ever do.

I try to demonstrate to my boys that we leave a place we visit in the same way or better than we found it.  So that means we need to clean up (Park, friends home, school, where we eat).

I try to demonstrate to my boys that we are always kind and respectful. So to me, that means, we clean up and use good manners.

It’s possibly the most important stuff I will teach my boys:  RESPECT.  HUMILITY.  KINDNESS.  RESPECT!!!

I wonder, how this in some way feels like a generational difference? or perhaps  there’s a difference because I’ve worked in customer service for so many years? or maybe I’m just being a jerk?   Am  I just a jerk?


What do you teach your children about being good stewards of their surroundings?  

Am I being insane about commercial meals with Grandpa?  

Should I allow a double standard for the meals Grandpa bankrolls?  If yes, how do I explain that to toddlers?  

Consistency is key?  Yeah or neh?

I’m interested in your thoughts.




One Response to “Reluctant Mother v Dining With Grandpa: AM I WRONG?”

  1. Pattie says:

    You are totally right.
    You and they, as they are able should help to put the space back to a semblance of how you found it. Of course you do not need to carry a portable car vac!