Home » You Can Do This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Make a T-Shirt of Questionable Taste

You Can Do This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Make a T-Shirt of Questionable Taste

WARNING:  If you are super sensitive and/or uptight you might be offended by this post. . .Possibly more so than the rest of my posts.  You should probably stop reading now.

So one of my Brother’s has a wicked sense of humor.  And though I don’t get to see him often, whenever we get together, we laugh so hard our faces hurt.

And I guess because we’re both bordering on completely deranged, we always end up talking about making T-shirts with potentially offensive content.

And then it’s somehow my job to actually make said shirt.

Things I have (not necessarily proudly) put on T-shirts and baby onesies:

1.  A likeness of Wilford Brimley with the quote “I’ve got the dia-bee-tus but the bitches still want on my penis.”

2.  A Leon Bakst inspired rooster stencil with the quote “Rock out with your cock out.”

And most recently, a onesie with the term “Mamalo” which apparently means “Suck it” in Spanish.  (Please, whatever you do, DO NOT Google search images for this phrase.  Just TRUST ME).

Anyway, every time, I’ve used a different technique for making the items.  And here’s what I’ve discovered. . .


The first attempt was a colorful stenciled-looking rooster.  For this shirt, as previously mentioned I was inspired by the stencils Leon Bakst used in the theater at Evergreen.  Because why not class up a shirt that says “Rock out with your cock out”?

I drew my picture on a piece of plain white paper, colored it with Sharpie Markers, scanned the image (in reverse), and then printed it on T-shirt photo transfer paper.

You can get this paper in nearly any store.  And it contains the directions for making the transfer and ironing it onto your desired shirt of garment.

This process was easy and relatively fast.  Although, I could tell nearly immediately, it wasn’t going to hold up to much laundering.


So when it came time to make the (admittedly horrible) Wilford Brimley shirt, I wanted to do something more than just an iron on.

Fortunately for me, I stumbled upon a silk screening method that required few specialty supplies.

Getting the image on the screen took considerably longer because I was working with an actual image of Wilford Brimley (plus text) and it took some time to figure out which features to highlight.  Then of course, there was a LOT of Modge Podge detailing to do.  (FYI, for the actual screen fabric, I used a cheap polyester sheer drapery).

I was pretty happy with the results and I suspect these garments did better in repeated washings. . .Although, I’m not sure they were ever washed because who in their right mind would wear this shirt?!


And most recently, potentially offensive foreign slang for a baby onesie.  Because. . .well, babies do suck. . .bottles, pacifiers.  You know.

I didn’t have much time so fortunately, I happened to have a set of Crayola Fabric (hard to believe this isn’t a sponsored post, no?) markers I had been hoarding for several years.  I figured I’d give them a shot.

This could not have been any easier.  I used some stencils I had on hand to make letters and animal silhouettes jumbled around the letters because my sick mind thought the juxtaposition of the cute and innocent animals and the offensive language was funny.

The markers flow nicely and left perfectly saturated lines.  The directions said to heat set the garment by placing it in the dryer.  Doesn’t get much easier than that.

I doubt this onesie ever gets washed as it’s certainly not going to be worn much.  However, I get the impression the paint would hold up for a while if you follow the directions and launder gently.

I hope this info helps you make your own shirts of questionable taste.  If you do make something, be sure to share with me.  Reluctantmother524@gmail.com or Twitter @homeeckwreck

PS Can you believe I never took photos of all this trashy stuff?!


Husband:  “Let me get this straight, our bedroom ceiling has needed painting for nearly a year, and this is how you choose to use your precious little free time?”

Yes.  Yes it is.


6 Responses to “You Can Do This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Make a T-Shirt of Questionable Taste”

  1. How could you possibly have let these gems slip away without snapping a photo?

  2. I just read your latest blog entry and admittedly I should be filled with shame for helping inspire your latest creation. However I unabashedly love it and it still makes me laugh. Sadly we were not drinking. Can’t wait to see you again and see what else we come up with.

    • admin says:

      You seriously MUST transfer to Baltimore! I miss you so much and I think Chris does too. He keeps talking about your movie. He tried to explain it to Jason at Christmas but it just wasn’t the same. haha. Love you so much!

  3. […] a rice sock. . .(What’s a rice sock?!)  I’d Google it, but after I Googled Mamalo, I’m swore I’d be more selective. . .More. . .I’m educated. . .I went to Law […]