Home » Raising Boys: Reluctant Mother v. #RAY RICE

Raising Boys: Reluctant Mother v. #RAY RICE

A man walks into an elevator. . .(at 4AM?!)

And makes a very poor decision.

And WHOA.  CONSEQUENCES.

I’ll mention now, as far as I’m concerned it’s NEVER okay to do harm to another.  I don’t care about your beliefs, your past, any stress you might be feeling.  It’s NEVER okay.  NEVER.

And this is why I decided the Naval Academy was probably a poor fit for me. . .And why my toddler spent a LOT of time in time out.  

Where was I?

Right.  Ray Rice.

He cold-clocked his girlfriend in the elevator of an Atlantic City casino in the wee hours of the morning.

How many times must that happen?

I’d be willing to wager a LOT more than we hear about.

In fact, I’d be willing to bet the house that we are ONLY hearing about it because Ray Rice is a mid-twenty something, rock star football player. . .a role model, a winner. . .you know.

More sickening?  The serious consequences only occurred after TMZ leaked video footage of him actually perpetuating the alleged act.

BALTIMORE RAVENS MANAGEMENT, NFL BIG WIGS, PUBLIC AT LARGE: WHAT DO YOU THINK BEING KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS LOOKS LIKE EXACTLY?!

Now? Now we’re all outraged?  We’re so outraged, we’ll terminate his employment, we’ll make sure he “pays” in more than just fines and suspensions.  We’ll make sure his name is forever stigmatized.  We’ll make him the poster-child for a certain type of bad behavior. . .

And perhaps we should?  

I have no answer.

But. . .

Where does this leave the rest of us?

I can teach my boys not to be physically violent.

But I won’t be there when they are in an elevator at a 4 AM.

I can teach my boys to do no harm.

But I can’t un-send the message here:  You can do harm, until you get caught on video.  (And in Ferguson, and in huge swaths of unrestful places across the globe).

I tell my boys our actions have consequences but there’s always another chance to make a better decision.

Will Ray Rice have another chance?  

I CAN TEACH MY BOYS THAT WE ARE ALL HUMAN.

It doesn’t matter if you make $1 a year or millions of dollars a day.  We are all human.

And humanity is fraught with poor decisions and errors and selfishness. . .

And I will teach my boys to make decisions very gently, kindly, and with great respect. . . .And to remember all humans are beautiful, and valuable, and worthy. . .

Be kind and respectful.  Do no harm.  Make good choices.  Forgive yourself.  Be the best you you can be.

Otherwise, I’ll knock you into next week. 

happy place

I’d never knock anything. Except that camera lens off our marble steps. Sorry, Chris. I did. Loading the car that morning.

 

Domestic violence is no joke.  If you need help PLEASE get it.