Home » This, That, and The Other. . .

This, That, and The Other. . .

I have a list a mile long of stuff I want to post.

Time is NOT on my side.

For one thing, Teddy has recently decided he LOVES feeding himself. So now I have two children dumping enough food on the floor on a daily basis to feed a small country.  And that small country is apparently Satan’s Lap Hound.

What’s not so small?  The stench emanating from his colon.  This dog absolutely reeks.  Our entire house is filled with the oh-so-welcoming stench of dog farts.  I have started stashing small containers of baking soda in inconspicuous places. It’s. Not. Helping.

The worst part?  As bad as the dog gas smells, it’s just easier for me to let Tilghman eat the food off of the floor than to clean it up myself.

In related poop news? Mac still doesn’t feel compelled to use the loo for number two.  So. . .yeah.

And we have entered the Epoch of Bad Sleep.  Teddy seems to prefer the basement bedroom.  Mac frequently wakes in the night.   Chris and I haven’t slept a full night’s sleep in the same bed since. . .Easter?  I don’t know.

I keep saying it’s just a phase.

Then I forget and get all pissy about it because that’s what happens when you’re sleep starved and snuggle deprived.

And right. . .just a phase. . .

And ooohhhh blunt object! 

And why am I crying?

Just.  A.  Phase.

And OH the IRONY.  Sleeping alone without any “marital obligations”?  No need to be so meticulous with the personal grooming right?  Right.

EXCEPT it’s effing SUMMER!  And I can’t go to the pool all ungroomed. . .

You know how unfufilling it is to waste time shaving your big toes knowing full well the only between the sheets action you’re gettin’ involves a very very loud, surly, hungry, erratic baby who wishes to take his 11:15PM and 5:30AM meals on the bed?

And then there’s this:

Beach Baby

Beach baby 2

Wonderful days with perfect weather, and well-behaved children. . .Days with a breeze just perfect for clearing the potent dog fart stench from your sinuses. . .Days that you wish could go on FOREVER. . .because they are joyful and glorious. . .

And because you know full well YOU’RE NOT GOING TO SLEEP ANYWAY. . .

Until I can get back to some routine posting schedule, you can catch me on the fly on Twitter @homeeckwreck and on Facebook  at Deni Lyn Miller.