Home » In Which Reluctant Mother Offers Son A Life Lesson While Soaking In A Urine Filled Wading Pool

In Which Reluctant Mother Offers Son A Life Lesson While Soaking In A Urine Filled Wading Pool

I have a love/hate relationship with the Patterson Park Pool.

It’s a good pool.  It’s sometimes full of bad people.

They’re not really bad.

 They just act badly.  

And they’re REALLY good at it. . .Seriously, the adults yell at the staff about ridiculous shit.  So.  Much.  Yelling.  

It’s cheap but therefore unreliable in schedule, staff, rules, chlorine deliveries. . .

Anyway, it’s hot in these parts and the pool is easy for a lazy person like me.

So this morning after our walk, I promised Mac as soon as the pool opened, we’d be there. . .assuming they had some effing chlorine and the weather held.

I usually pack the kids a few toys. . .and I also always remind Mac that it’s his choice:  If he wants to play with the toys in the pool, there’s a chance he might be asked to share them with other children.

Sometimes Mac elects to leave the toys in the stroller and some days he’s cool with the possibility of sharing.

Today was a sharing day.

So when an older boy approached Mac and asked if he could see his floating sea-plane, Mac looked at me.

“He’s playing with the airplane right now, but when he’s done with it, you could have a turn,” I said to the boy.

“Ok,” said the boy, “I’ll wait.”

“Thank you for understanding,” I smiled at him.

Mac made a bee-line for the opposite end of the pool.  Defensive.

And I couldn’t blame him.  There were a LOT of unruly children in that pool.

“Mac,” I said pulling him in close so he could hear, “It’s your toy but remember what I said about maybe having to share it?  And it would make the boy so happy if you gave it to him when you were done.”

Mac gave no indication that he even heard me.

And predictably, Mac moved on. . .And the other kid took his turn with the plane.

Mac even happily followed him around while he played with the toy, Mac playing with a plastic dinosaur figure.

My heart was so happy.

Again, I drew Mac in close.  This time I told him how proud I was of him for sharing his favorite pool toy.  I told him I hoped it made his heart happy to share appropriately.

And again, he seemed to not hear a damned thing I was saying. . .

But about an hour later, some new kids came to the pool.

And at this point Mac was playing with a bucket.

A girl approached. . .She might have been 7, 8, 9?  And she asked if she could play with the bucket.

Again, I said, “He’s playing with the bucket right now, but as soon as he’s done, you could have a turn.”

“Ok,” she said not budging.

And Mac turned to her, flashed a huge friendly smile, and handed her the bucket.

Heart melting.

I wanted to squeeze him forever.  It was the sweetest thing!

“That was so kind of you Mackinley,” I said.  “You are a kind and respectful person and I am very proud of how thoughtful and generous your actions are.”

The little girl ran off with the bucket without so much as a thank you.

After a few minutes Mac asked if I had another bucket.

“I’m sorry, not today, Handsome.  But once our friend has a turn with our bucket, you can use it again.”

Mac was cool and proceeded to wade around happily.

Meanwhile, I was juggling a very water-happy squirming Teddy.

And then two seven or eight year-old boys started playing with the dinosaur and seaplane toys. . .and they wanted an audience.

“Hey, watch how I swim underwater!  Check out my cannonball!  See what I do with the airplane!  Are you watching?!”

“Yes.  Yes.  I’m watching.  I love your cannon balls and you are really great swimmers.  I just need to keep an eye on my other son over there. . .”

“You have two babies?” the one boy asked.

“Yes.  I have two children.”  I said smiling.  “Hey, I’m impressed by how well you two swim and how nicely you’re playing with the toys.”

“Watch this!” One of the boys shouted. . .

And as I gave a quick glance back at Mac, I saw he was shoulder deep in the water, about six inches away from the girl he shared his bucket with. . .she still had the bucket. . .

My eyes darted back to the boys.

And a split second later back to Mac. . .

And at that very moment I saw her throw an entire bucket of water in his face.  Point blank.  Unprovoked.  WITH THE BUCKET HE SO HAPPILY SHARED WITH HER!!!!

What. A. Little.  UM. . . Bitch!!!!!!!!

Mac was completely stunned.

And I know it wasn’t just because he got an unsolicited face-full of diluted urine.

His kindness and generosity wasn’t reciprocated.

At. All.

He stumbled away and I marched towards her.

“Hey, maybe you were just playing, but he’s a little young for that sort of play.  He doesn’t know how to swim as well as you yet.” I said to her smiling with my mouth and voice but glaring with my eyes.

She ran off with the bucket to the sand area.

Not even an apology.

Mac didn’t cry and shook it off pretty quickly but asked to leave the pool.

“Sure thing.  Look how dark the sky is getting.  It’s going to storm soon anyway.  I’m really proud of the choices you made at the pool today and when we get home, you could have some really fun consequences. . .maybe chocolate milk and whipped cream?”

“Dry off!  Mac dries off with fishy towel and gets chocky milk and scream!!!!” Mac exclaimed quivering with delight.

“You know it!  But first we need to get our toys.”

Mac held my hand as we marched towards bucket bitch. . .err. . .girl.  She saw us coming and handed it off to another girl (clear evidence of premeditation and guilt). . .

Then we circled back to the boys who were playing with our other toys. . .

And at just that moment, whistles started blowing and all water stopped whooshing.

“Pool off?” Mac asked.

“Oh yes.  It’s going to storm.  We need to get home fast!.”

The boys were coming our way.

“Hey, did you drive here?” one asked.

“Oh no, we live close and I think we’ll just make it home before the weather,” I said.

“Thanks for the toys,” the other said as they quickly handed them over.

“Thanks to you too.  You played so nicely with the toys and I’m impressed with your swimming skills,” I said frantically towelling off Mac and Teddy.

The sky was looking scary as hell and I had a quarter-mile potential full-on-sprint -in-flip-flops-pushing-a-nearly-70lb-load to do.

“You know what?” One of them said.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Every time I come here, I’m going to play nice and swim good.”

“That sounds positively wonderful,” I said.  “Hope to see you soon!”

Mac, of course, had nearly forgotten about his pee-water bucket assault. . .but I hadn’t. . .


You’re going to end up pissed on occasionally, but the odds are in your favor.

Being kind, Being respectful, no matter the circumstances is how we get through this life happily.

And help others get through it happily too.

Except for ungrateful little bitches who attack you with the very toy you shared with them. . .They’re on their own. . . 








2 Responses to “In Which Reluctant Mother Offers Son A Life Lesson While Soaking In A Urine Filled Wading Pool”

  1. Ayre says:

    Deni your take is pretty matured. I know am not there yer. WhenI find other kids acting up and my son on the receiving end of it I wait and watch for his reaction. But at times when the kids seem really ill-mannered I do step in and do a stern, adult voice and ask them whether I’m going to have to talk to their moms.

    If the mother seems to be the role model the kid is emulating then I ask her to watch her kid…not in a very polite tone.

    Bugs the shit out of me when kids misbehave blatantly and parents have their kids-will-be-kids face on.

    • admin says:

      I try so hard to behave myself. It’s not exactly my natural behavior. I wanted to dunk that kid! But you’re spot on noting that kids emulate behavior. That’s why I try so damned hard to demonstrate qualities I want my boys to learn. GAH!