Home » You Can Accomplish This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Radish Salsa

You Can Accomplish This Before Your Effing Head Explodes: Radish Salsa

Last Friday, I was a bit nervous when I saw the sheer quantity of radishes our CSA share contained.

Salsa bowl

Don’t get me wrong, we like radishes. . .

But we don’t LOVE radishes.

And there were a lot.

Tender, teensy perfectly imperfect radishes. . .

I eyeballed them:  creamy white all ombre into a beautiful violet shade of red. . .curly little “root stem” things still intact.

I sighed.

Imagine my disdain.

What the hell was I going to do with all these radishes?



I  put them in the refrigerator crisper drawer.

I didn’t have time to worry about them.  We were going to HAPPY HOUR!

This particular happy hour was at a friend’s home and had a “fiesta theme.”

We were the first to arrive.  Because um I couldn’t wait to catch up with the hosts and. . .BOOZE. . .and kid friendly. . .and BOOZE. . .

And while we were chatting I completely ignored my children and took an opportunity to admire the hosts’ home scope the booze and eye up the food.

It was an impressive spread. . .And I wasn’t shy. . .because oh my lawd I NEVER get to eat in peace and consequently have the pent-up appetite and table manners of a wild boar.  I’ll shovel that shit in anytime anywhere decorum be damned.

“Hey!  Are those RADISHES?” I practically shouted eyeing up an attractive salsa.

Because I practically shout at everyone all the time.  Because the noise level in my home seems to require it. . .

Another “wild boar” mother nodded in affirmation, mouth full of tequila and corn tortilla.

I scooped a line-backer sized portion on my plate.


My palate is (obviously) not refined.  Hello?  Taco Pizza? I can’t tell you all the ingredients in something just by tasting it.  But I could see this salsa contained celery and radish.

A few days later, finding my sad little radishes languishing in the crisper, I decided I needed to concoct a salsa. . .

I basically used some of the ingredients in this recipe and swapped out the cucumber for celery and neglected to measure anything.

And it’s so damned good. . .

1.  Chop about 5 stalks of celery into small-medium dice.

2.  Chop about 4 generous handfuls of radishes into small-medium dice.

3.  Finely chop some green onions.

4.  Put everything in a bowl.

5.  Add salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes to taste.

6.  Add lemon juice (maybe about 1 medium sized-lemon)

7.  Finely chop one bunch of cilantro, add to mixture.

8.  Gently stir.

Eat like you’re a boar AND it’s your last meal.

salsa jar