Home » Another Post Where I Mock My Husband’s Misguided Attempts To Be Considerate

Another Post Where I Mock My Husband’s Misguided Attempts To Be Considerate

So as you all know, I’m a few days away from my due date with our second little Sprout.

And I’m obsessed.

But not the way you might think. . .

I’m not worried about bonding, or juggling two kids, or the extra stress or work, or the lack of sleep. . .

We can handle it.  I can handle it.

And if I can’t, we’ll ask for help.

It’s nothing to get worked up over.

I AM however, concerned about Mac.  I know this probably sounds a little helicopter-ish, but I think he’s already a little confused or conflicted about “Baby Brother.”

I’ve attempted to explain in simple terms how things will work out while Baby Brother is being born.  And we’ve talked about babies and read the suggested reading for older siblings.  I praise him for helping me and completing tasks and sometimes tell him he’s doing so well, he’s definitely ready to be a Big Brother.

But no matter how positive a spin I put on things, I see something on his face sometimes. . .that makes my heart hurt a little.

I know he’s going to be fine but I’m definitely anticipating a transition period.  And I’m committed to making it as easy as possible for Mac.

Everything I’ve read about introducing a new sibling mentions that you DO NOT DARE alter the older child’s routine.  Makes perfect sense to me.  You don’t want to send your older child to day care, preschool or other places if you’ve never done so before.  It doesn’t send the best message.

I made up my mind that Baby Brother was basically going to be strapped to me in my trusty Boba Wrap nearly 24-7 while we kept on with Mac’s typical toddler routine.

And I was 100% fine with this.

I guess I was so fine with it, I didn’t even think to discuss it with my Husband.  Nor did I ask him to read any of the books or articles I had read regarding introducing a new sibling.

So yeah, he was kinda’ clueless. . .again.

And then Saturday evening, my Mother-In-Law leaned over while we were in church and mentioned that Chris was planning to bring Mac for a few sleepovers after the baby arrived.

Seems Chris wasn’t the only clueless one.

WHAT?  

Really?

I damned near fell out of the pew.

First of all, it conflicts with everything I read about maintaining consistency in the older child’s routine.

AND even if Chris didn’t know that, it conflicts with my other HUGE belief – which he’s heard about ad nauseam:  I’M TOTALLY ANTI-SLEEPOVER.

That’s right.  I. HATE. SLEEPOVERS.

Sometimes, they’re absolutely necessary, I get it.

But mostly they are the dumbest thing EVER.  There’s no upside.  No one gets any rest.  The next day is ruined.  Older kids can get in all sorts of trouble.

SLEEPOVERS are RIDICULOUS.

Yes, even at the Grandparents.  Even with a parent present.  I avoid them at all costs.  My family lives about 3.5 hours away.  So a visit pretty much requires a sleep over.  It’s brutal every damned time.  If I could figure out how to avoid it, I would (no offense to my family of course).

Chris and I had agreed:  NO SLEEPOVERS UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

Of course, once the kid’s start asking we’ll have to reevaluate but for now, no sleepovers.

“So did you really tell your Mother, you’re bringing Mac for sleepovers once the new baby gets here?” I asked as we were walking home from church.

“Maybe. . .” Chris said, “Well, I mentioned maybe I’d bring Mac for a night or something. . .If it was okay with you.”

“She made it sound like you said multiple nights.” I fired back.

“Well, I have three weeks leave from work, I thought maybe we could go a couple of times.”  He mumbled looking at his shoes.  “I thought it was a good idea.  Mac and I could get out of your hair.  Give you some alone time. . .Well alone with the new baby.  You guys could bond.”

“You thought this was a good idea?” I snorted.  “You thought it was a good idea to leave me at home alone with a newborn that needs fed every two hours?”

Crickets from Chris. . .

“You thought it was a good idea to take our toddler who is still having trouble with his new nighttime routine, whom you can’t get to sleep yourself. . .You thought it advisable to take him away for multiple nights and then return him to me positively exhausted and out of sorts along with a bunch of your laundry?”

Now I was getting fired up. . .Yeah.  What the hell, husband?

“I just thought it might be nice if we were out of your way for a little bit.  Give you some alone time.”

“But I won’t be alone!  I’ll be here with a newborn.  Awake nearly the entire time you’re gone for feedings and I’ll still have all the same chores to keep up with.  They won’t stop just because you guys are gone.  I’ll have to walk the dog on top of everything else.”  I gasped.

“Ok.  No big deal.  We won’t spend the night.”

“Thank you.”

We walked a little further and I started to feel bad.  I wasn’t exactly screaming at him but I was kinda’ in awe that such a misguided thought crossed his mind. . .

“Look, thanks for understanding.  My biggest concern is helping Mac adjust.  And that means we all need to be together a lot, especially when I have you around to help. Of course you can take Mac to your parents for special day visits during that time but I was really counting on having you here to help with feedings and stuff at night so both of us get some sleep.  I’m not worried about bonding with this baby.  It’s going to be fine.  And if it’s not, we’ll work something else out.”

Since all of this transpired, my mind is still reeling a little bit.  Was he just trying to weasel out of dealing with our newborn?

I find that hard to believe since dealing with Mac in a strange situation would likely have been ten times more difficult.

I think my poor Husband was really just trying to be CONSIDERATE.

He’s too sweet!

And since it’s on his mind, I thought maybe I could make a few HELPFUL suggestions for dear Husband:

WAYS MY HUSBAND CAN BE CONSIDERATE AFTER NEW BABY GETS HERE:

1.  Put your damned dirty socks in the hamper. . .along with the ones you remove from Mac and let lie around the living room.

2.  Try to get your pee IN the toilet.  ALL of it.  ALL the time.  Even in the dead of night while holding the baby.

3.  If you really want me to have “alone time,” book me an appointment for a blow-out and DO NOT allow me to skip it for any reason.

4.  See #3, make sure when I return, the house is in the same condition as when I left it.

5.  Make sure I do NOT have to worry about whether I’m running low on wine.

6.  Should I somehow stupidly consume entirely too much wine (duh), DO NOT even hint at your desire for a blow job.  NOT EVEN ONCE.  Not even if you think I won’t remember.

7.  When you help Mac wash his hands, wipe up the area around the sink.  I HATE leaning into a bunch of cold water splashed everywhere.

8.  Agree the $25/lb blue cheese IS a NECESSITY.

9.  When I’m standing over the kitchen sink crying for no apparent reason, take the baby and point me in the direction of the shower.

10.  Make me laugh. . .but NOT by allowing Mac to run around naked until HE pees all over the floor.

 

2 Responses to “Another Post Where I Mock My Husband’s Misguided Attempts To Be Considerate”

  1. Rick says:

    If there is one thing I have learned in my career of being married is never, ever come up with a “brilliant” idea and follow through with it until at least in a hinting fashion it is passed by the wife. Otherwise the consequences can be swift and brutal.