Home » Clearly There Was A Disconnect. . .

Clearly There Was A Disconnect. . .

As we are all PAINFULLY aware,  there’s a baby brother about to come crashing into this joint in about 86 days (not that I’m keeping count). . .

And while I’m furiously trying to locate those 800 back-up crib sheets I purchased for Mac when his newborn disposable diapers seemed to keep leaking on us, I thought it might also be a good idea to actually talk to Mac about what’s going to happen.

Once we were pretty certain the pregnancy was safe and healthy we started with simple comments about “Baby Brother” and “Baby Brother is in Mommy’s belly – just like you were.”  It’s been adorable to ask Mac where Baby Brother is and have him point to my stomach.  Sometimes he erroneously points to my breast but they are massive and if not for the protrusion of my belly, would be sagging to just about to where baby brother actually is, so whatever. . . Close enough.

But these comments didn’t really do much to prepare him for Baby Brother.  I knew we needed more.

So one day after an ultrasound I showed him the pictures.

“Look Mac!” I said in an excited voice, “Here are pictures of Baby Brother in Mommy’s tummy.”  I handed him the photos.  He took one look at the photos, threw them on the ground, stomped on them and then threw himself on the floor screaming.

What the hell?  That wasn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for. . .

Luckily for us, one of my oldest and dearest friends  mentioned she had a book about being a big brother that her son very much enjoyed before the birth of her daughter.

big brother

I sat on the book for about a month after our little ultrasound meltdown figuring we still had plenty of time. . .

We started reading the book about a week ago.  I was excited by Mac’s positive reaction to it.  He started saying lines from the book “Babies drink milk.  Babies like to be warm and cozy.  I’m a big brother!”

Aawwwww how precious.  This might just be okay.  He’s coming around to the whole idea of having a sibling.

The book has cute illustrations but they aren’t pictures of ACTUAL babies. . .So I THINK there might have been a disconnect in Mac’s little head about what exactly a baby is. . .

Yesterday morning, we were killing some time before the pool opened and after we had read the Big Brother book a couple of times, we were at the kitchen table having some breakfast and watching The Big Year DVD (STILL the only thing he’ll watch on TV.)

There is a scene in the movie where one of the main characters meets his newborn Grandson for the first time.

Ooooohhh what a great opportunity, Deni!  Talk about the baby!    

“Do you see the baby, Mac?  Look how teensy it is.  That’s what Baby Brother will look like when he gets here!  He’s going to be soooooo little.  Isn’t it exciting you’ll get to help us take care of a little baby like that because you’re the BIG brother?  You can show him big boy stuff and play with him.  It’s going to be great.”

I smiled warmly at Mac. . .

And my gaze was met with the icy stare of a crazed toddler.

I have NEVER seen such a look of anger and contempt in his eyes!

He positively glared at me, picked up his sippy cup of milk and threw it across the kitchen.

The good news is, I think he finally grasps the concept of “Baby Brother.”

Of course the bad news is, he clearly already hates him.




4 Responses to “Clearly There Was A Disconnect. . .”

  1. Eek! My older son used to press my pregnant tummy and say “beebee”- I really thought he’d got it, until we went to the park and he pressed on the middle of a pretend steering wheel and said the exact same thing. Not baby, beep beep! I’m certain he had no clue what was coming before Danny arrived, but he seemed to really love him from the off- partly because Danny gave him some great presents at their first meeting!!

    • admin says:

      BEEP! BEEP! That’s very funny. So cute!

      I’m the oldest and I was just about Mac’s age when my first sister arrived. I STILL remember the “gifts” I got when she arrived. AND I still remember the gifts I got on her first birthday and a few other special days (which weren’t about me at all). I have zero recollection of thinking much about whether I actually liked her or not. So I guess it worked. (Obviously, I adore her now).

      If I might ask, did you deliver in a hospital and were you there long? If you have tips/tricks you used to make the older sibling happy and at ease while you were having the baby, could you please share?

      Mac has only spent one night without me and he was just a month old. . .So I’m very nervous about being at the hospital for a night (or more) when we have the second.

      Thanks for commenting!

      • I was terrified about leaving Zac while I went into hospital, especially since I’d had to stay in for 5 days after having him via emergency caesarian. Luckily Danny was a lot more co-operative- I went into labour late afternoon and he arrived out the right exit 6 hours later, my mum came and looked after Zac, and when he woke up in the morning he came to the hospital with his dad to pick us up so he hardly noticed I’d gone. I did make sure I wasn’t holding the baby when he arrived so I could give him a big hug, and that the baby had presents in his crib waiting for Zac. Plus I tried to get Zac involved in looking after him as much as possible which made him feel important. To be honest tho, he mostly ignored him for the first few months until he could sit up and was a bit more interesting! I’ve written about my birth stories here if you fancy a read…http://letsmemories.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/birth-stories-part-ii.html
        Have you got family nearby who will look after Mac? I don’t know what people do if they don’t?? Maybe find a babysitter you trust and let them spend lots of fun time with him before the due date so he’s looking forward to spending time with them… Best of luck. Truly, although the first bit is HARD WORK, having two boys is brilliant- you wait til you hear them having conversations with each other- hilarious and sooo cute. Good luck.x

        • admin says:

          I’ll definitely check out your blog! Thanks for the tips about not holding the baby when the older sibling arrives and having a little something special waiting for them. Great ideas!

          My family is about 3 hours away. Chris has some family about 30 minutes to an hour away. And Mac’s godparents are just about 20 minutes away so I’m hoping somehow we’ll be covered.

          I’m currently struggling with whether to have another induction just so we’re more certain on a delivery date. . .but as you well know, babies don’t always arrive when and as expected. 🙂

          I’m so glad Danny didn’t require a CSection, etc for you. I would imagine the recovery is so so hard especially when you have young children too!

          I cannot wait to see the two of them interact! I’m looking forward to seeing what the “brothers” get into. . .Ugh. . .They’re going to nearly kill me I’m sure. Ha! XO