Home » Reluctant Mother Needs A User’s Guide. . .For A Penis

Reluctant Mother Needs A User’s Guide. . .For A Penis

A few evenings ago, Chris went upstairs to get the tub ready for Mac’s bath.  While I was preparing dinner, I stripped Mac down and let him run around in all his glory for a few minutes.

I turned my attention to the stove for a moment and when I turned around again, I noticed Mac had placed his rubber ducky in the empty dog food bowl.

Awwww that’s cute. . .

But I wasn’t prepared for what I witnessed next. . .

Mac proceeded to stand up and PEE into the dog bowl and all over Ducky!

The Ducky swimz with the piddlez

The Ducky swimz with the piddlez


Whatever possessed him to do that?!  

Is he marking his territory?  Why would he think the dog dish is an appropriate spot to relieve himself?  Is he mad at the dog?  Is he developing some sort of unhealthy relationship with his rubber ducky?  Did he just do this because he can?

I have no idea. . .because I DO NOT HAVE A PENIS!

I’m in completely unchartered water here.  And it’s about to get deeper. . .every time the ultrasound tech laughs and says “It’s still a boy” I feel myself tense up a little bit. . .another penis!!

Sure right now, things aren’t too complicated. . .I never make a to do.  I certainly don’t want him feeling embarrassed about his body. . .

I offer suggestions. . .”Let’s put away the shower sprayer.  It’s making a mess and wasting water (and I’m pretty sure your penis is sufficiently clean after spraying it for the past 15 minutes).”

I chuckle to myself when Mac tells me “Penis comfy” when we change diapers and clothes. (Already he’s concerned about this sort of thing?!).

Sometimes, I have to issue a pretty firm directive:  “Please don’t touch your penis while eating.”  (And that goes double for you, Husband!).

BUT I know it’s not always going to be this simple. . .

Before I know it, he’s going to be exposed to all variety of media – where women are frequently airbrushed and objectified. . .He’s going to have meat-head friends, and questions, and peer pressure. . .

How do I make sure I raise a gentleman?  A gentle, kind young man, who understands how to respect others. . .including girls?

Of course, I can discuss, and answer questions (some of which I’ll undoubtedly have to Google for answers), and offer appropriate resources, but he’s probably going to learn so much more by example.

Fortunately, his Father is a great man who will be a wonderful role model. . .as soon as I can get him to stop incessantly MEOWING the Meow Mix commercial with the kid. . .My ears are about to bleed!

48 seconds of ear-assaulting meowing (mainly by my Husband). . .


(I’m not sure how to make this video look “pretty” yet – no editing etc.  I was considering adding occasional video to the blog and just thought I’d give it a go, see what happened. . .)







3 Responses to “Reluctant Mother Needs A User’s Guide. . .For A Penis”

  1. Jennifer says:

    Hahaha! I am so glad I have a girl!
    Jennifer recently posted…New Article on FoundationsMy Profile

  2. Rick says:

    I’m sorry. It’s a man thing that we have no control over. I don’t care if it’s reaching down to make certain it’s still there. Or realigning it between the legs for comfort’s sake, us men have to make quick adjustments to the privates. And yet noticed by every person withing eye-shot, whether on sports tv or at home, we think we are sooooo sneaky when we do it.. I apologize for all us fellow males.