Home » I Have Officially Turned Into My Grandmother

I Have Officially Turned Into My Grandmother

I realize all I’ve been spewing off about is my recent home-improvement kick.  You’re probably sick of hearing about it.

Try living it.  Ugh.

Anyway, if you recall, this all started because I wasn’t sure where I was going to put another kid.

The good news is I devised a plan that I think will be very workable for us long-term.  The bad news is it involved a LOT of shuffling around the contents of the house. . .and about $600 worth of Ikea shelving. . .which is NOT assembled yet and had better work like a dream bygawd.  Otherwise, my Husband might go into a completely justifiable homicidal rage.

Part of my brilliant plans involved moving nearly all the contents of our master bedroom to our basement-level guest room.  And moving the twin beds that previously occupied the guest room to the master bedroom.  The baby will start in the former master bedroom in a crib and once Mac is ready for his big-boy bed, he’ll move in there too.  Chris and I will then move into Mac’s current room.

Got it?

Don’t worry, I have a diagram just so I can keep it all straight myself.

Anyway, because we don’t have a lot of space to play with, and because I’m way too cheap to rent a storage locker for an indefinite amount of time while Mac grows into a big-boy bed, furniture had to be shuffled. . . Including beds. . .

So last weekend, our dresser, chest of drawers, and full-sized bed frame made the tedious and physically painful (for my Husband and Brother-in-law) descent two levels down to the guest room.

And our twin beds made the journey two flights up, to the space previously known as the master bedroom.

Now when I devised this whole plan, I didn’t give a whole lot of thought about where Chris and I might sleep while we were waiting for Mac to graduate into a twin bed.

I guess I just assumed with the new baby and all the middle of the night feedings and the whole, “I just evicted a 7+ lb. kid from my uterus.  Get off me!  Don’t even think about touching me!  You know what?  Don’t even LOOK at me!” stuff our sleeping arrangements weren’t all that important.

We could sleep together in the basement guest room.  Or we could sleep in the twin beds in the baby’s room.  Or most likely, Chris would be sleeping in one of those places and I’d be sleeping in the other near the baby – at least for a few weeks.  Because the last thing I need is a crying baby getting awake a toddler in the dead of night.  

Right.  Except the baby doesn’t arrive until the first week of November.  

That leaves us with 133 nights (thank you stupid pregnancy calendar) of “Where are WE going to sleep?”

Last Friday, after Chris and his Brother worked tirelessly moving all the furniture, I rushed to the newly outfitted guest room to put some sheets on the bed so we could just get to sleep already.

Then Chris asked where the sheets were for the twin beds.

“Um.  I bought brand new sheets for those beds and I haven’t laundered them yet.  I wasn’t going to set all that up until after the shelves are installed and stuff.  Why?”

Chris:  “We’re going to sleep on bare mattresses?”

Me:  “No. . .I made the guest bed.  We can sleep in it.”

Chris:  “We can’t sleep two floors away from Huggy Bear!  What if something happens?”

Me:  “We’ll have the baby monitor.”

Chris:  “We can’t leave him upstairs alone!”

Me:  “Come on.  He won’t even know where we are.  It’s going to be fine.  Tons of people have master suites on their main floors and all the kids sleep on another floor these days.  It’s not an outrageous idea.  We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

Chris:  “I can’t do it.  What if there’s a fire?”

Fudge.  He had me on that one.  I couldn’t imagine anything much more terrifying.

The first night, I tossed down a few blankets and we each flopped onto a twin bed exhausted.

By the second night, I had laundered the new sheets and properly made the beds.  Since there were TWO beds, I could make my bed with the sheet tucked in at the bottom – how I like it.  Chris’ sheet remained untucked – how he liked it.

How convenient.

I slid myself into the clean sheets.

I tossed one knee away from my body horizontally.  It didn’t ram Chris squarely in the back.  It wasn’t falling off the edge of the bed. . .

Hey, this isn’t so bad.  I’m really comfortable.  I feel like I have a LOT of room in this bed.

As I awoke in the wee hours to once again visit the loo, I realized there wasn’t one bastard cat trying to sleep on my head.  They were all in Chris’ bed.

“Awesome!”  I whispered to myself as I quickly fell back to sleep.  No tossing.  No turning.  No jockeying for a few more inches of space or a sliver of blanket.

By the third night, I couldn’t wait to get in my very own twin bed!  I hadn’t slept this well since the Clinton Presidency!

Chris was clearly less than thrilled by the arrangements so I was trying to conceal my joy.

What’s wrong with him?!  This is FAN-FRIGGING-TASTIC!  I have room to stretch out.  I don’t wake up all stiff and sore.  There’s no one tossing and turning, shaking the bed, stealing my duvet.  All of my pillows stay exactly where I want them!

Why in the hell do people sleep in the same bed?!  Whose idea was that anyway?  It’s stupid.  Snuggling is way over-rated.

 How can I make this arrangement permanent?  

Folks, I have officially turned into my Grandmother!

She’s nearly 97 and in excellent health. . .

Maybe it was her solo sleeping arrangements? 







6 Responses to “I Have Officially Turned Into My Grandmother”

  1. OMG I am SOOOO with you on this! I have NO idea why people thought they were smarter than Lucy & Desi or Fred & Wilma and decided to start sleeping in the same bed. What nonsense this is that we are awakened multiple times in the night by someone else turning over, or grabbing covers, or kicking, or whatever.

    We have a bed in the spare room and whenever one of us is sick that is where they go sleep. It almost makes a Man Cold worthwhile for me to be able to sleep alone!

    And PS – our master bedroom is on the main floor and the 3 girls are upstairs. Works just fine.
    The Next Step recently posted…On The Road Again, Just Can’t Wait to GET THERE ALREADYMy Profile

    • admin says:

      I can see how you would be conflicted about man colds if that means you get the bed to yourself. How bad is that? haha!

  2. I sleep so friggin’ good when I’m traveling and alone! Hubs says he doesn’t sleep well without me. He’s nuts, solo is the way to go.
    Anita @ Losing Austin recently posted…Leaving a LegacyMy Profile

    • admin says:

      I had no idea so many folks under the age of maybe 70 felt this way too! I’m glad to know I’m not alone. 🙂

  3. Jennifer says:

    I totally agree with the sleeping thing. I LOVED it when my husband worked 3rd shift. I have been grumpy ever since he quit that shift :-/

    My sisters and I always refer to Grandma as “The Voice inside our heads”. She is always there reminding us that the dishes need to be done as soon as a meal is finished – no matter what. That our asses are all a tad too wide for her standards, but one should always have home baked goodie on hand for husbands and/or guests. That boredom equals laziness because there is always something that can be cleaned.

    She passed away 3 years ago but her voice and influence in our lives seems to only get stronger the older we get.
    Jennifer recently posted…Summer SunMy Profile

    • admin says:

      I love the idea of your Grandma being the voice in your head! It’s so true! 🙂