Home » Father’s Day Weekend: Make Some Sweet-Assed Man-Candy

Father’s Day Weekend: Make Some Sweet-Assed Man-Candy

In an amazing feat of proactiveness, likely to never be repeated, I managed to get Chris a little gift IN ADVANCE of Father’s Day.

Contrary to what you might routinely read on this blog, he really does deserve it.  We LOVE HIM!!!

love 2

But after I procured the gift, I stumbled upon a recipe in the June 2013 Better Homes & Gardens magazine for some “man candy” that looked like something my Husband would be WILD about.  And?  It looked easy.  . .

And was very attractive to a delusional pregnant woman. . .

What can I say?  I’m a giver.

You can find the original recipe here.

Of course, I took the original recipe and tore it out of the magazine so I could take it to the grocer.  And then the recipe was never to be seen again.   Sigh.

Undeterred and too lazy to search for it online at 5:30 this morning, I decided to wing it.

Here’s how:

1.  I cooked a pound of bacon in the oven on baking sheets as I recalled the recipe suggested.  I’ve never cooked bacon this way before and although I feared a horrible grease fire, it was ok.  I think some people put their bacon on sheet trays with elevated racks but I didn’t have any racks so I just put the bacon directly on the sheet pans.  I cooked at 350F because that’s my default temperature for cooking everything.  I needed two sheet trays for all the bacon and it cooked up in about 15-20 minutes.  The bacon was kinda stuck to the pans but I just used a spatula to scrap it off.  It needed to be crumbled anyway.

2.  Next, I put all the crumbles on a plate, covered it with foil and hid it in the kitchen cabinet so it was safe from the hoggish cats and dog.

3.  Then I focused on melting the chocolate.  I recalled the recipe said to melt the chocolate in the oven but that sounded very intimidating to me.  So I rigged up a double boiler using a large sauce pan full of water and a stainless steel mixing bowl.  I placed 1lb of semi-sweet chocolate chips and 1/2lb of dark chocolate chips into the stainless bowl, turned on the heat, and stirred until everything was melted and smooth.

4.  It was about this time, I remembered I was supposed to brush the bacon with caramel sauce prior to baking.  BLERGH.  As I stirred I contemplated attempting to add the caramel sauce to the chocolate, or layer it under the bacon, or mix it with the bacon.  “ABORT!  ABORT!” screamed the often unheard and largely ignored rational voice in my mind.  But this time I listened.  I wasn’t about to ruin a pound of bacon and nearly two pounds of chocolate.  So the caramel sauce got entirely omitted.

5.  Once the chocolate was smooth, I spooned it onto a small sheet pan (the kind with raised edges) which I had lined with parchment paper.  I smoothed it over with a rubber spatula so it was pretty even and smooth.  Then I spread the bacon crumbles on top.  (When I say small sheet pan, it probably measures 12 by 8 or 14 by 10 inches.  I wanted the chocolate to be thick but not too thick.  If you want really thin bark, spread the chocolate onto a larger sheet pan.

6.  I stashed the entire pan in the fridge so it could set while I cleaned the main floor of the house, did a load of laundry, scooped the litter box, and drank two cups of luke warm, lousy coffee.

7.  A hot sweaty, cat litter covered mess, I threw open the refrigerator door and was pleasantly surprised to find this:

Bacon Bark

Hells Yeah!  That’s what I’m talkin’ about!  

So fast and so easy, I even have time to do some personal grooming for this weekend. . .

Not that I will. . .Who can compete with dark chocolate and bacon anyway?

Don’t answer that.  



5 Responses to “Father’s Day Weekend: Make Some Sweet-Assed Man-Candy”

  1. I must try- the hubs would definitely approve!
    Anita @ Losing Austin recently posted…In the StormMy Profile

    • admin says:

      I would recommend using the carmel sauce. It was ok without it; however, I can see how it would be even better with it. And I used a LOT of chocolate on a small pan so it’s pretty thick. I’d suggest making it thinner – unless your husband has the world’s most wicked sweet tooth. 🙂

  2. Jennifer says:

    Ah crap! You just reminded me that I was supposed to stop and pick up pictures I had printed off waiting for me at Walgreens for my hubby’s gift :-/ And I was so proud of myself for planning ahead. I found an awesome firetruck 3-D picture frame (hubby is a volunteer firefighter) that he could hang at his shop with a picture of his sweet girl (not me, his daughter).
    Grrrr….now I have to see if I can make an excuse to go back to town and somehow fit that trip into the schedule before Sunday.
    Jennifer recently posted…Camper Dress UpMy Profile

  3. Shay says:

    Thanks a lot. I’m going to have to go buy a new computer as this one has a huge bite mark right in the middle of the screen now. DAMN that looks good!!
    Shay recently posted…Towel: A Totally (Not) Inspirational Father’s Day Story about Idiot KidsMy Profile

    • admin says:


      Well. . .I thought it was mighty tasty. The Husband liked it but he said it wasn’t agreeing with his stomach. So now I’m left to eat about 2.5 lbs of this stuff myself.

      If you think you might try it, I would say, don’t skip the carmel sauce like I did. It’s fine without it, but I would imagine it’s even better with it.