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Yesterday It Was The Yogurt

My Husband and I just spent five whole days together.

While I love my Husband dearly and he’s typically a big help with Mac and our household chores, five days is a LOT.

I’m pleased to say we made it through some hectic days without major marital discord, but like any marriage, we have a few minor recurring issues.

As I was reflecting last evening, I realize all of our nagging little problems really have one root cause:

 My Husband talks.  

It’s true.  I can’t tell you how much happier our marriage would be if he’d just remain mute while I went about doing everything the “right” way.  We’d avoid  conflict.   We’d save time.

Sure, over the past decade or so, I’ve tried dropping subtle hints.  On a few occasions when his incessant yapping is driving me into a homicidal rage,  (like four mornings a week) I’ve actually asked  him to STOP TALKING for his own safety.

Yet, the problem persists. . .

And last night it was the damned yogurt.

Last summer, when the Doctor was all jazzed about Mac’s apparent inability to gain weight in keeping with that crazy growth curve thingy she was always frantically pointing to on the computer screen in her office, she suggested attempting to pump him full of full-fat dairy. . .More specifically, full fat yogurt and ice cream.

So we did something I NEVER thought I’d do:  We started buying that ridiculously over-priced, deceivingly healthful Yo Baby Yogurt.  We started buying it because it was one of the only full-fat yogurts widely available.  Nearly every yogurt in the grocer’s seemingly endless selection was either reduced fat or fat-free.

And for a while Mac gobbled it up.

But as one would expect, the thrill wore off.

So while, yogurt was an okay bedtime snack – at least it was filling and contained some dairy and protein, he wasn’t interested.  And forget ice cream.  He seldom ever wanted ice cream. . .which I guess is not a bad problem to have as a parent.

A few weeks back, feeling all pregnant and summery, I purchased some ice cream sandwiches.  Nothing fancy, just the old-school vanilla ice cream wedged between two thin chocolate cookie type layers, wrapped in white paper.

And one evening, after Mac did a particularly good job eating well the whole day, I decided I’d share one with him. . .just to see what would happen.

He loved it.

So a few evenings later, we shared another “sammie.”

He doesn’t ask for “sammie” on his own, but when it’s offered, he practically quivers in delighted anticipation.

So last night, after he had a good dinner, and very little other “junk” all day, I figured a “sammie” was in order.

And that’s when the shit started. . .

I asked Chris to share a sammie with Mac since I was working hard to get some meals prepped for the week and put away a bunch of household supplies we had delivered earlier that day.

“Oh great. Sammie again?” Chris mumbled as he plopped himself on the sofa and unwrapped it.

“What’s the big deal?  He ate well today.  He could have a something a little special before bed.”  I said, while forcefully scrubbing a pot.

Sigh.  Sigh.  Sigh. 

“What happened to yogurt before bed?” Chris sighed.  “When did you start feeding him this junk every night?”

“We don’t have sammies every night.  You know that.” I said scrubbing a little more vigorously.  “He’s not that into the yogurt any longer.   It’s just something nice once in a while to switch it up.”

“Well, I guess if you want to feed him this junk. . .How much of this will he eat?” Chris asked.

Now here’s the thing, even though my waistline might not show it, I’m actually pretty well-informed about food.  I started my first “sensible” diet in sixth grade at the suggestion of my ballet teacher and ahem Mother.  And yes, for a while, I struggled to find a happy relationship with food. . .

But I have one now.  And I try to model that relationship for my son.  I don’t believe in completely eliminating things from my diet.  I strive to eat a lot of simply prepared fresh food.  However, I don’t see anything wrong with an occasional splurge.

I’m also pretty savvy.  I read labels.  I try to buy very few processed items.  I’m cognizant of sugar and salt content.  I try to be as educated as possible AND as moderate as possible.

So when Chris started talking smack about the sammie, I knew I was prepared.

I straightened up from the sink, dried my hands aggressively and turned to face him.  He was reclined on the sofa, Mac was sitting on his stomach, and they were alternately taking nibbles of the sammie.

Oh how this irked me. . .He’s had a dinner I cooked (wild-caught fish sautéed in olive oil with a squeeze of lemon juice and a fresh vegetable and couscous salad.  He washed it down with a few snorts of gin, and while I clean everything up and pack his lunch, he’s lounging around on the sofa criticizing me!

“You know what might be nice?” I asked in a sarcastically sweet tone, dish pan hand planted firmly on my hip.  “If you spent some time planning our meals, cooking them, actually convinced Mac to eat them, and then cleaned everything up, while I sat around criticizing all your choices.”

 Come on. . .talk.  I DARE YOU.

“It’s just that I don’t think the sammie is very healthy,” he mumbled.

This is EXACTLY what I was hoping for. . .

“Really.  You think the yogurt is better?” I asked eagerly pulling a the sammie box from the freezer and a yogurt container from the fridge.

I started rattling off the fat and sugar content.  In a head to head contest, both items were nearly neck in neck.  The sammie contained 60 more calories and a bit more sodium but it had nearly the same sugar, protein, and fat as the yogurt.  Both products contained a decent list of ingredients I couldn’t pronounce.

“Just because it’s yogurt doesn’t mean it’s super healthful.” I snorted in a wise-ass voice.  “Yogurt has to be one of the biggest consumer deceptions the food industry has ever perpetuated.  Why do you think I take the time every day to pack you plain, non-fat yogurt, blueberries and honey?  Because it’s not full of a bunch of processed crap and sugar.  Because I care.  If I could get Mac to eat that type of yogurt I would offer it, but he hasn’t developed a taste for it yet.”

I paused waiting for the rebuttal. . .

There was only silence.

Has Husband finally learned his lesson about talking or was his mouth merely full of sammie?  

Only time will tell. . .

Here's the part where the Daddy Dog is in the doghouse again. . .

Here’s the part where the Daddy Dog is in the doghouse again. . .








8 Responses to “Yesterday It Was The Yogurt”

  1. Meredith says:

    ”If you spent some time planning our meals, cooking them, actually convinced Mac to eat them…”

    This is a BIG one in our house. I try to plan healthy meals for the family that I can get my 18 month old to eat. It’s a crapshoot if she will & incredibly frustrating. One day she’ll eat chicken, the next day she won’t touch it. Pair that with trying to come up with and pack meals + snacks for daycare every night; I fully admit, sometimes I totally snap in the food department.

    • admin says:

      I feel your pain! It must be typical behavior. Mac is the same way. One day he can’t get ENOUGH chicken. . .or squash. . .or apple and then he refuses them for the next month. In my head, I’m always working on Plans B and C.

      Last night, I knew he’d eat the veggies and couscous but I wasn’t sure he’d be excited about the fish. To his credit, he almost always tries whatever I put on the plate. He tried the fish and wasn’t thrilled so I quickly heated up two thin slices of Canadian Bacon just so he had some protein with his meal. Not perfect but at least he ate something with some fat and protein. . .because NOTHING makes me more nuts than watching him throw his dinner around and then chuck a fit at bedtime because he’s still hungry.

      I just try not to worry and keep offering a lot of variety.

      However, I’d probably be a MESS if I had to plan meals and snacks for daycare. What happens if your daughter refuses to eat anything you prepare for her? Does the daycare have other options they will offer in a pinch? I’ll bet you have to send her off with half a fridge-full of food daily!

      Good LUCK! And let me know if you find some magical toddler food. 🙂

      • Meredith says:

        Breakfast is NEVER an issue. That girl loves her breakfast food (“scrambies”, yogurt, pancakes, waffles, bananas, etc) & I usually try to go with dinner leftovers, if it was a successful night. If it wasn’t, then I typically go with some sort of pasta/rice dish with veggies or perhaps chicken nuggets (won’t eat regular chicken sometimes, but she’ll eat the nuggets without fail!). I normally have good luck with her eating what I send to daycare. Last week though she was on a chicken salad on rye kick so I sent “sandwich bites” for her & she refused them. I don’t really worry about it too much, I know she’s not going to starve if she refuses ONE item from her daycare bag.

        Also funny that you mention this:

        NOTHING makes me more nuts than watching him throw his dinner around and then chuck a fit at bedtime because he’s still hungry.

        DITTO!! She pulled the “windshield wiper arm” act with part of her dinner last night and then lost her shizz at about 6:30, which promptly made me lose my shizz! I said something like, “I’m not a dang short order cook. I already cooked dinner, cleaned up, and packed her daycare bag. I am NOT reopening the kitchen. If YOU want to go in and make her something to eat, feel free!” to her father. I felt a little bad about it later, but not too bad. HAHA!

  2. Jennifer says:

    Men. I see he didn’t abstain from the sammie to protect his own health. And seriously? Mac is the cutest little guy with the most squeezable cheeks I have ever seen and he isn’t on the right place on the growth chart? Those growth charts are so ridiculous.
    My daughter is in the 75th percentile for height but doesn’t even register on the weight chart, like two inches below the lowest percentile is where she has hung out since we adopted her. And never fear, we have had her tested for every possible disorder known to man, and she is perfectly healthy. Just freakishly skinny. And not from lack of eating. She is an eater of mass quantities. Those skinny Asian kids that always win the hot dog eating contests? Yeah, that’s my kid. I don’t know what she does with it, but none of it sticks. Rice pudding is her newest snack/treat. Home made with full fat milk and butter. I gain weight just smelling the stuff :-/
    Jennifer recently posted…Raising the TitanicMy Profile

    • admin says:

      My Husband – the closet ice cream sandwich eater ha! – isn’t Asian, but he could also be one of those hot-dog eating champs. Nothing sticks to him either. So jealous. Everything sticks to me. I’m the stickiest, stick ever!

      I hate those growth charts. One visit, the doctor thought Mac was gaining too rapidly, two visits later she was all worried he wasn’t gaining fast enough.

      We haven’t seen her in months (fortunately). He goes for his 24 month appointment next week. I have no idea what she’ll say but he’s strong and a little stocky but not fat and he eats pretty well all things considered so I’ve decided I’m done worrying about it all. Ha!

      I’ve tried pudding with Mac but I think kinda’ like yogurt, ice cream, and oatmeal, he’s not big on that sort of smooshy texture currently. Of course he switches it up on my almost daily. I just try to offer variety and not obsess over it.

      Maybe I’ll try some rice pudding and see what happens? If Mac rejects it, that skinny Husband of mine can eat it. . .all the while, complaining about all the heart clogging butter and full fat milk it contains. 🙂

  3. Shay says:

    There is hope! My husband used to do things like this until I started giving him jobs: doing dinner once or twice a week since I work, too; taking the kids outside to play while I cleaned house; etc., etc. He gets it now. Maybe send your hubs on a weekend with Mac or to the grocery store to do all the shopping? Or make it his job to find/feed Mac his nightly snacks? He might be singing a more thankful and less judgy tune next time. But it does sound like he got it, and he sounds like a good guy, just like my hubs is for letting me write whatever I want about him. 🙂
    Shay recently posted…What’s My Motherfcking Name?My Profile

  4. Shay says:

    I had to add that last part so they wouldn’t get mad and take away the privilege. Haha.
    Shay recently posted…What’s My Motherfcking Name?My Profile

  5. Dani Ryan says:

    You need to send your husband this-a-way for a night or 2. With my crappy cooking and my child’s ridiculously picky eating, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself!!! 🙂 But please don’t ever tell my husband about these awesome meals you make. PLEASE!!! xoxoxo
    Dani Ryan recently posted…What weekends are really like when you’re a momMy Profile