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TRUTH: Sharing Sucks.

We survived our quick trip late last week.  A dinner and cake party with Mac’s Godparents and their children Saturday evening.  A picnic at Chris’ Parents’ last evening.  And today we’re off to the B&O Railroad Museum with the paternal Grandparents in honor of Mac’s birthday.

Anyway, as you might imagine, it’s been extremely hectic around here. . .

And anyone whose ever had a toddler knows hectic and deviating from a set routine can lead to catastrophic consequences.

All things considered, Mac did great. (Although he didn’t go to bed until about 10:45PM last night. . .ugh).

And he apparently hates singing Happy Birthday. . .but I’ve never been big on the whole hoopla myself so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. . .

Because we gave him cake. . .

Because we gave him cake. . .

I’ll write more about our adventures later. . .but this morning I’m going to talk about feelings. . .

Hang with me, it’s not all boring Hallmark and cupcakes and puppies.  I promise.  

Last evening, I overheard Chris telling his cousin who has a 15-month-old that “Mac doesn’t share well.”

Now, Chris’ statement wasn’t inaccurate.  Mac does not share well – at least not consistently.

But a few things about the comment made me feel a little stabby.

First of all, Mac is barely two damned years old.  Should he be expected to share well consistently?  Of COURSE NOT.

I’m almost 37 and sometimes (most times) I don’t want to share.  If I’m being honest, more often than not, I think sharing sucks.  Who wants to split a dessert when you could have a whole one to yourself?  Ever share a toothbrush?  Exactly. . .Ew.  And. Sucks.

I don’t see why a two-year old should be expected to share without protest.

Put yourself in his place.  He has practically zero control over anything on a daily basis.  Adults tell him when to sleep, they suggest what he should eat and when. . .Pretty soon, we’re going to be dictating when and where he can pee for chrissakes.  If you were in his shoes wouldn’t you be desperately seeking some sense of control or power?

I think we need to cool it with the expectations.  

Also, I didn’t necessarily like that Chris made the comment in a way that Mac could overhear him.  Now, I know this is going to sound hypocritical coming from the writer of a blog that writes almost exclusively about her misadventures with her kid, BUT I don’t like the idea of having your child OVERHEAR you say things that aren’t complimentary about him or her.

Look, I’m not one of those people who think kids should get a trophy for drooling or something; however, I DO NOT think your children should overhear you talking about them in a less than positive light with other adults.  It’s a bad example of how to treat other human beings and I suspect it really sucks for the kid.

If you want to say less than complimentary crap about your kid, be a good human being and a good parent:  Say that crap behind her back. . .or comment about it on this blog. . . 

Finally, Chris sounded almost apologetic or embarrassed when he made the statement.  It wasn’t as if Mac hauled off and clocked a kid over a toy, he was just getting whiny at the prospect of forking it over.

This doesn’t sit well with me.  At. All.

Why do we as parents feel the need to apologize for a kid acting developmentally appropriate?

I’m guilty of it too. . .I started early and I’ve done it often. . .

The kid makes a huge poop in the middle of dinner.  “Oh dear, his timing is stellar.  I’m sorry about the smell.  Please excuse us. I’m sooooooo soooooooo sorry.”

The kid has half a finger up wedged up his nose in church. So we spend nearly the entire service, completely distracted, attempting to get the kid to stop jamming his digits into his nostril.

Crying.  Oh how we apologize for crying. . .Infants crying on planes. . .Babies crying at restaurants. . .Toddlers throwing themselves on the grocer’s floor in protest. . .of something. . .

YES, children are embarrassing.  YES, children act like animals.  YES, children are power-hungry and frequently act like selfish little trolls.

They have ALWAYS acted this way. . .but when did the adult agonizing and apologizing start?

PS Of course we’re working on helping Mac understand sharing might be bullshit but in order to be socially appropriate, he MUST do it with relative frequency and minimal protest.  I have no doubt he’ll catch on very soon.

I sharez the kookiez with no one!

I sharez the kookiez with no one!





One Response to “TRUTH: Sharing Sucks.”

  1. Jennifer says:

    My parental agonizing started when I became a parent at the mature age of 36. Because, you see, I had spent 15-20 years judging all of the other parents out there for their crimes against humanity – otherwise known as screaming, disobedient toddlers. Now I automatically project my own snide, judgemental, eye rolling former self onto any observer of my own unruly child. Thank God not all people are as hideously judgemental as I was.
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