Home » “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” The Reluctant Mother Edition

“I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” The Reluctant Mother Edition

All of you regular readers are well aware I’ve been complaining (probably ad nauseam) about my second pregnancy.  It’s been much more difficult physically than the first.  In fact, to be perfectly candid, there have been multiple occasions when I deeply regretted our decision to get pregnant again.

And all along, I’ve had the nagging feeling something was wrong. . .Or off. . .Even when I put aside all my own selfish feelings and my insane hypochondria, I could not shake the feeling something was somehow not right.

Yesterday, I posted a photo showing how freaking LARGE I had become seemingly overnight.  I expected to look this way by about ten or 12 weeks pregnant but not at barely eight weeks.  Of course, my overnight expansion had my Mother and Sisters in hysterics unkindly wishing multiples upon me.

Yuck it up guys. . .just you wait. . .You’ll get your’s. . .I’m dreaming about the day!

Text to My Sister:  “I could barely get one egg to show up after ten damned months.  What are the odds two showed up.”

Sister:  That would be your luck.  LOL

She’s right.

My Response:  “Or worse:  Somehow one of our stupid embryos was actually smart enough to duplicate itself?!”

I barely breathed the word twins to Chris and he damned near passed out cold at my feet.

“It’s okay, Honey,” I said,  “If there’s more than one baby in there, after the ultrasound, I’ll just find a cliff and drive off of it.  You and Mac will be fine.”

“Ok.” Chris said, “I wonder if Leslie Starr knows how to make Taco Pizza?”

*Leslie is one of the top birders in the state.  So he was implying she would be his new girlfriend/wife and Mac’s new Mommy.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him, there was a good chance she could be pushing 70 years old.

Anyway, for all the joking we were doing, I was still freaked out.  Something was definitely wrong.  I just wasn’t sure what it was or to what degree.

Fortunately, yesterday was our first ultrasound.

Of course, I wasn’t expecting any mind-blowing images since I was only eight weeks pregnant.

I was greeted by Sarah one of the many ultrasound techs I became friendly with during my last pregnancy.  She eyed my girth and asked me how certain I was of my due date.

“Very certain.”  I said confidently.  “We were trying to get pregnant for nearly ten months so I was keeping track of things.  I even used an iPhone app to be sure I remembered everything.”

“All right,” she said squirting a bunch of warm ooze onto my already monstrous baby bump.  “Let’s have a look.”

Nearly immediately, I noticed details I didn’t expect to see.  Tiny fingers, legs, a profile.  Wow, they must have really had some dramatic changes in technology since my last “first” ultrasound.  This was crazy.  This kid is like the size of a damned maccaroni or something and I can see all this?

Sarah swished the little ultrasound wand over my stomach again and again, typing explanations on the images as she went.  We checked the heart beat – which was spot on healthy.

Even though I was still barely breathing out of fear and trepidation, Sarah and her colleague Kristen seemed completely relaxed.  Which I was hoping was a good sign.

“Sarah,” I said, “I’m really nervous about this pregnancy.  I know I’m old and every one is different but this one has been very difficult.  I’ve been having terrible pains on my right side.”

“Well, so far, everything looks perfect,”  She said.  “I was just about to have a look at your ovaries.”

And with one deft swoop over my lower right side, she found what was likely the cause of the pain.  “Oh.  You have a cyst on this ovary,” she said.

Two terrifying seconds later she added, “I wouldn’t worry about it.  It’s not too big and it looks ‘clean.’  It will probably go away on its own.  This isn’t uncommon.”

Whew.  I KNEW I wasn’t being crazy.  I KNEW there were something weird on that side of my body.  I COULD feel it when I moved my legs a certain way.  

I started to breathe a little more comfortably.

“So things look good?” I asked again seeking more reassurance.

“Yes.  Very good.” Sarah said.

At that moment, trusting Sarah that all was well, I finally started to allow myself to acknowledge all the love I had for this teensy little thing. . .now if only we could co-exist in such cramped quarters for another 7 months. . .It’s a long road this pregnancy trip.  (I have no idea how elephants do it! 22 damned months!?)

“Look at it go!” I remarked as we watched the little fetus curl itself into a tight ball and then explode all it’s limbs outward at the same time bouncing itself around wildly.

“It’s using your uterus like a trampoline!” Sarah laughed.

“That’s marvelous” I groaned.  “Just want I need in a second child, one that won’t stay still a second.”

“I’m going to take a few more measurements.” Sarah said as she continued to deftly move the ultrasound probe over my stomach.  “Top of the uterus.  Bottom of the uterus.  Looking down on baby’s head.  Baby’s heart.  Baby’s stomach.  Baby’s toes and leg.  Baby’s arms and tiny fingers.  Here’s baby’s profile.  Again, here’s a profile.  Stay still baby!  Here’s baby from head to rear. . .”

Sarah started to print out some photos for us as I glibly wiped all the goop off my stomach.

“There’s just one more thing. . .”

I swear my heart stopped for a moment.  I whipped my head around to face her, alarmed.

“We have to change your due date.  The baby is measuring nearly 13 weeks.”

“What?  That’s not possible.” I stammered.  “I know when my last period was.  It’s in the phone.”

“Well, I think that last period wasn’t a period.” Sarah laughed.

“It was exactly like all the rest. . .Are you telling me I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH?!”

“Yes.” Sarah laughed.

“Oh mah word!” I swooned “I’m one of those stupid people who didn’t know they were pregnant!  EVEN THOUGH I WAS TRYING TO GET PREGNANT!”

I grabbed the phone.  Sure enough.  Sarah’s calculation based on the baby’s measurements was spot on for the notes in my phone. . .I guess I’ve been spotting a LOT more than I thought.

I’m WAY MORE pregnant than I thought!  This is AWESOME!  It’s better than Christmas!  I don’t think I’ve ever been more happy in all my life.  I don’t have to be pregnant into December.  We’re going to evict this little sucker in early November.  This is FABULOUS!!!

And then my heart did stop for a few seconds.

“Sarah.  The drinking.  I was drinking a lot.  I mean we were trying to get pregnant.  It was becoming a real drag.  I um you know. . .The drinking. . .” I trailed off. . .Telling these girls my main conception method involved to quote Jimmy Buffett  “why don’t we get drunk and screw?”  was probably way too much information.

“It’s ok.” she said.  “Really.  It’s ok.  Babies are tough.  This one looks perfectly healthy.  I hear you concerns ALL the time.  And there’s seldom ever an issue.  Most women have no idea they are pregnant for quite some time.  It’s going to be ok.”

“Really?”

“REALLY!  In fact, ” she said, “I have a friend who didn’t know she was pregnant for longer than you.  We were young so there was a good amount of drinking going on.  The kid is perfectly healthy.  We nicknamed him ‘Fireball’ because that’s what she drank before she found out she was pregnant.”

I laughed a little at her story. . .but I still felt guilty.  It was stupid of me to drink so much while trying to get pregnant.

“Do not feel bad,” Sarah encouraged me.  “The baby looks fine.  You should be thrilled.  In a few more days, you should start feeling much better.  You’re almost out of the first trimester.  Less sickness.  Less exhaustion.”

“You’re right!” I perked up.  “I was dreading all the obligations we had in May, but I’ll bet I’m going to feel much better.  It’s going to be a great month!  Thank you so, so much!” I hopped of the table and smoothed out my dress feeling like it was Christmas again. . .

I see the doctor on Friday.  I have another ultrasound and more blood work on Friday.  I feel much more peace about the whole thing after yesterday. . .

BUT I’LL NEVER, EVER BE ABLE TO LIVE DOWN THE FACT THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS WHO DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT!

I didn't know I was pregnant

 

 

 

 

12 Responses to ““I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” The Reluctant Mother Edition”

  1. Meghan says:

    Well, congrats are in order…. 13 weeks along – Yay! Love your comment, “We’re going to evict this little sucker in early November. “… as always, you are hilarious. Are they gonna do a follow up on the cyst? How often do you need that checked out? My Mom had one removed years ago and it was no big deal.

    Again, congrats 🙂
    Meghan recently posted…Sprint for Super Saturdays 5KMy Profile

    • admin says:

      Ha! “Evict” I always do think of it as eviction, since last time they induced on due date. I would imagine with all my stupid risk factors, they’ll do the same this time. . .unless of course it wants to come to the party just a little earlier even. And who wouldn’t be in a hurry to hang out with a crazy two-year old and me all day? Ha!

      I guess I’ll see what the doctor says about the cyst when I see him or her on Friday. I know some folks who have had them removed without issue too. Of course, I’ve never had a surgical procedure and I’m terrified of the thought so I’m hoping it goes away.

      It’s almost an afterthought at this point. I’m still so elated the baby is ok and we’ll get to meet him or her even sooner than we thought! 🙂

  2. Mary Ann says:

    Whoopie!!!Your Mom & I will celebrate at lunch!

    • admin says:

      You mean she’s actually tearing herself away from “supervising” the people that are working on the exterior of her house?! Ha. I hope you enjoy! I’m eating a grilled cheese. Sigh.

  3. I drank, took codeine, and played PAINTBALL the week before I found out I was pregnant. (He’s fine.)

    Also, I met one of those “I didn’t know” moms. Her son was born in the bathroom at a major league hockey game. He is not the brightest kid, but that could be from nurture just as much as nature…
    Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 recently posted…Ass, Ass, and More AssMy Profile

  4. Jordan says:

    I actually didn’t know I was pregnant for 12 weeks. I went to my first doctors appointment and the lady doing the sonogram casually mentions “you are much further along than we thought.” With those words I imagined her telling me I had to be rushed to the hospital to deliver right then. I found out my child’s sex at the first appointment and the doctor told me the worst was over since I was out of my first trimester. I have since vowed to take a pregnancy test a month until I die. I’m never going that long without knowing again lol.

    • admin says:

      Ha! Like I said, it was rather exciting to get to “skip” a whole month of the first trimester. Of course, now I realize I’m going to be much more pregnant than I thought in the summer. . .and I’m dreading that. And like you, I’m wondering after we have this one, if I shouldn’t take a test every month? They should be included free in every package of tampons. . .just in case. Ha.

  5. Dani Ryan says:

    Woo hoo! Congrats on almost being done the 1st trimester!!!!

    And thanks a lot for making me 2nd guess the Trojans every month now that I know it’s more common than I thought to have a “period” and still be pregnant. 🙂
    Dani Ryan recently posted…Living in the shadow of my mother-in-lawMy Profile

    • admin says:

      Thanks! You’ve gotta watch that stuff. I thought I knew my body pretty well. I was completely taken aback by this situation. Ha.

  6. Truly hilarious! And so exciting- 5 weeks shorter of the misery and in plenty of time for the holidays. What a great thing to have been wrong about!
    Anita @ Losing Austin recently posted…Sorry. We can’t be friends.My Profile

    • admin says:

      Thanks! My Husband was all “Way to sneak in an extra month of cocktails, Deni.” I’m still miffed we went through the “torture” of “trying” again for a whole ‘nother month unnecessarily. Making babies can really get old after a while. Ha!