Home » They Say The Second Pregnancy Is Different. . .

They Say The Second Pregnancy Is Different. . .

PREGNANCY 1 v PREGNANCY 2. . .THE RELUCTANT MOTHER EDITION

Great

DISCOVERING YOU’RE PREGNANT:

Pregnancy 1:  Could I be pregnant?  Take test sober, first thing in the morning following the enclosed test instructions to the letter.  I’m pregnant!!!  I’m pregnant!!!  Yeah!  I’m pregnant!!!  Send adoring Husband clever text with a photo of the positive pregnancy tests.

Pregnancy 2:  Could I be pregnant?  Get drunk.  At midnight, decide you should take a pregnancy test.  Disregard all test instructions and hope you don’t pee on your hand while drunkenly hovering over the toilet.  Cross eyes to accurately read test results.  I’m pregnant!?   Oh shit, I’m pregnant!  This baby’s going to be born in December?  That’s the worst timing EVER.  Take two more pregnancy tests just to make sure.  Yep.  Still pregnant, you idiot.  Sigh.  Leave urine soaked pregnancy tests on kitchen counter for Husband to find the following morning beside your last, still half-full can of cheap beer.

CELEBRATING THE GOOD NEWS:

Pregnancy 1:  Troll internet for just a few adorable unisex onesies, some Pea-In-The-Pod maternity dresses, and nursery decor ideas.  Go to a fancy dinner with your husband and close friends where you make certain to order a dark leafy green salad, whole wheat bread, avoiding all unpasteurized semi-soft cheeses, genetically modified foods, and caffeine.

Pregnancy 2:  Decide the baby can just wear diapers and swaddle wraps for the first four weeks at least.   Realize your infant gear and maternity crap is with three different friends and relations strewn across three states.  Wonder where the hell a new baby might sleep?  Go to a family friendly establishment for a hurried and chaotic dinner with your husband and toddler in tow.  Forget you are pregnant and order $50 worth of sushi.  Wash it down with three glasses of iced tea.

SHARING YOUR GOOD NEWS:  

Pregnancy 1:  I will NOT tell a soul about this until the 16th week.  When the 16th week FINALLY arrives, you and husband work the phones like it’s a damned get-out-the-vote operation.

Pregnancy 2:  I’m not going to be able to hide this for long.  Sigh.  Might as well text Grandma the good news and get it over with.

TAKING CARE OF SELF:

Pregnancy 1:  I had better take a nap EVERY DAY.  I’m going to get some ginger pops to settle my stomach.  I can’t scoop the cat boxes until after the baby is born.  I probably shouldn’t be lifting this 30lb bag of dog food or hauling the vacuum up the stairs.  I’m going to get my hair done, buy lots of  quality moisturizer to help with stretch marks, and pamper myself a LOT before baby comes.

Pregnancy 2:  I’ll nap when I’m dead – which might be soon with this whiny toddler hanging on my leg all damned day.  Ginger pops?  Pfft.  Dealing with a toddler really helps you NOT focus on morning sickness.  Again, forget you are pregnant scoop the cat boxes, haul the vacuum up and down two flights of stairs like a boss twice a week every week.  Lift nearly 30 lb clingy, temperamental toddler ALL THE TIME – swing him around, toss him up and down.  Pampering oneself involves flossing regularly and biting at ragged cuticles while said toddler sits on his potty seat.

EDUCATING ONESELF:

Pregnancy 1:  Read, read, read.  Read baby books.  Read online pregnancy articles, forums, etc.  Download three pregnancy tracking apps to track baby’s development day by day.  Send Husband cute text messages every morning telling him what the baby is “doing” today.

Pregnancy 2:  Too tired to read, download one pregnancy app for your phone – mainly to keep track of all your doctor’s appointments.  Finally check it and realize your toddler has somehow jacked up all the settings and deleted all the appointments.  Send husband cute text messages every morning like, “The vet called.  They want a fresh stool sample from the dog dropped off this evening” and “Today could be the day I finally, completely lose my shit.” 

GUILT & WORRY:

Pregnancy 1:  What if this baby has medical problems?  Was it something I did wrong?  Will everything be ok?  Am I going to be a good Mother?  What if the baby is fussy and angry all the time?  Can I handle everything?  What if I get postpartum depression?

Pregnancy 2:   How am I ever going to love this baby as much as I love the first?  How is that even possible?  Will the toddler be ok?  What if he has trouble adjusting?  How can I balance the needs of two little people?  What in the hell were we thinking?!

YOUR MARRIAGE:

Pregnancy 1:  How will this affect my marriage?  I’m going to work hard to maintain our relationship.  I’ll have sex even when I don’t always feel like it because it’s important for our relationship.  We’ll discuss things and make sure we’re on the same pages with our parenting techniques and in all aspects of our lives.  I’m committed to being a perfect wife and mom.

Pregnancy 2:  You haven’t had an uninterrupted conversation in over a year.  You have no idea what your Spouse’s parenting philosophy is as long as it gets the damned job done.  At the end of another exhausting day as both of you are lying in bed, staring at your iPhones, Husband mentions you likely haven’t had sex since conception occurred six weeks ago.  “But I don’t feel like it” you protest. . .Sheesh!  No one is perfect. . .

 

As a serious aside:  For Boston and the entire international community affected by yesterday’s terrifying events, you are in our thoughts and prayers. This is yet another tragic circumstance, where words feel inadequate. . .Our hearts are with you.  Much love.  

 

 

12 Responses to “They Say The Second Pregnancy Is Different. . .”

  1. Meghan says:

    Love this. So nice to read something funny when we’re all still in shock here in Boston. Thanks for the upbeat blog post 🙂
    Meghan recently posted…Somber 5K for BostonMy Profile

    • admin says:

      I’m glad it made you smile. I’ve been thinking about you and others that live in the area. I was so glad to see your post hit my in-box a few minutes ago! I’m reading it next.

      Honestly, I wasn’t sure I should write anything at all today. I knew I didn’t have the words to express my feelings about what happened and I thought some folks might think a goofy post wouldn’t be respectful. But I decided that during my saddest and most scary moments, I always appreciate an opportunity to smile – if just for a few moments – so I went with it.

      Hang in there. I know you will! XOXO

  2. Shay says:

    The ginger pops part cracked me up the most b/c, oh my gosh, the things we do. And the guilt and worry one–yes, oh, yes. “How will I ever love him/her as much as my first?” Then you realize how very possible it is. Love those kiddos. 🙂 How do you always trick me into writing sweet stuff on your blog? Dammit, Deni, I have an IMAGE to uphold! 🙂
    Shay recently posted…Hitting the GymMy Profile

    • admin says:

      The things we do! AND the market for over-priced crap marketed to gullible pregnant women! Ha.

      I am definitely looking forward to loving the next one as much as this one. (In part because that means I’ll no longer be freaking pregnant! I hate being pregnant so so so so so much!).

      Sorry for the sneaky sappy comment trick. If you want, you can start commenting anonymously. I don’t want your trashy rep getting tarnished! 🙂

  3. With my first I cried that my baby wasn’t going to be as smart as my friend’s baby because she took pre-natals and ate, and I was too sick to eat anything. With my second, I knew the first was fine without it, and gave up.

    You nailed it all!

    ~Anita
    Anita @ Losing Austin recently posted…Happy Birthday WeekMy Profile

    • admin says:

      Thanks! You poor thing! So upset over a few vitamins. Isn’t it funny how uptight we are the first time? (Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very very nervous that everything is ok). We have access to WAY too much information these days. It’s terrifying. 🙂

  4. when do you get to find out whether you are having twins or not? cause that’s when it REALLY gets different. I am so glad I’m never going to be pregnant again – I pretty much hated every minute of it.
    The Next Step recently posted…M is for Mosaic of ThoughtsMy Profile

    • admin says:

      LORI FANCY SOUNDING LAST NAME THAT BEGINS WITH “V”!!!! TWINS? YOU HAD TO MENTION TWINS?! We already have NO place for the new kid to sleep. And you’re suggesting multiples?! Sigh. LOL! When do you find out if you’re having twins? When they listen for heartbeats or maybe that really early ultrasound. I’ve been told there is some history in the family but I’m so old, it’s a miracle I had one good egg left – I doubt there were two ready and waiting. . .And I doubt my single egg was smart enough to dupe itself. Ha! I still need to catch up on your L-M-N posts. Hope you home improvement is going well! I loved that Facebook post regarding the contractor asking if you drank heavily every night! 🙂

  5. Carol says:

    Congratulations!!! How exciting! And you are so right – the second time around is completely different. I found it more relaxed, mentally, but of course more strenuous physically with a maniac toddler running around. (Good luck, Sister! :))

    Your accompanying photo is a great source of relief for me. As soon as I saw that the test was positive with my daughter, I sent a picture message to my husband with the text, “Well shit,” and dumped out my glass of amaretto.

    • admin says:

      Thank you Carol! I’m glad you liked the photo and I’m glad I’m not alone with the mixed drinks and mixed emotions while taking pregnancy tests. Ha!

  6. Dani Ryan says:

    OMG, I loved that picture.

    I often find myself considering a pregnancy test when my period is late (I am irregular) even though we’re still using the Trojans. Why, you ask? To make sure it’s still safe to drink. 🙂

    Congrats again!

    xo
    Dani Ryan recently posted…The “what if?” gameMy Profile

    • admin says:

      Thanks. I’m glad you liked the picture! I wish I could say it was staged. Ha!

      I’ve taken a pregnancy test a couple other times when in doubt. (I’m almost always a few days off myself – nothing drastic but just to KNOW for the same reasons you consider it slurp, slurp, slurp. Ha!).

      I’ve never felt better about myself then when I hit both the liquor store AND the drug store for pregnancy tests in the same batch of errands (which has happened more often than I like to admit)!