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What’s THAT Smell?

I must ask myself that at least 12 times a day.  Most of the time, it’s either the kid, the dog, the trash, or shamefully ME.

However, today’s stench du jour was actually SCARY.

We were returning home from our walk, and because the two spot-a-pot stops in the park were clearly not adequate for me,   (Thanks asshole for spraying all over the seat in the one near the big pavilion.  I got a great thigh workout thanks to your hoggishness), I was in a huge hurry to get to the house.

When this happens, I enter the house through the basement door.  I leave the stroller in the yard, stuff Mac in his pack and play and use the basement washroom.  Then I just lock him in the basement maw-hahahaha for a few seconds while I run the stroller around to the front door, get it situated inside and fetch him.  It’s a good system and because of my beverage consumption, it’s one I avail myself to at least twice a week.

But this time when I opened the basement door, I was positively overwhelmed by a STENCH.


It only took me a second to realize it was GAS.  And not the typical gas that seems to come out of every living thing in this house at a nearly steady rate. . .It was NATURAL GAS. . .The kind we use to heat our house!

What do I do?  Can I leave Mac in here for a second?  Do I flee and risk peeing my pants while I call BGE?  Or maybe I call Chris first?  Can I turn on a light?  What if there’s a spark?  We’re all going to die a fire-eeey death!  Oh my lord, what if our pets are all dead upstairs from inhaling fumes?!  


My initial instinct was that the pilot light on that stupid tankless water heater somehow blew out.  That tankless water heater, while touted as environmentally friendly all the rage has proven to be a bit of a pain in the ass so I was quick to blame it.

However, as I very carefully tiptoed upstairs while holding Mac, so as to not create any static electricity that could spontaneously combust us or anything, I realized the smell was very strong on the main floor too.

I put Mac down and opened the back window, plotting my next move.

And when I turned towards the stove, I realized one of the knobs on the stove was turned just ever so slightly.  . .Ah ha!  The source of the gas smell!

I quickly turned it off and raced upstairs to open all the windows up there too.

As I returned downstairs, I wondered how I could have been so absent-minded?  I used the stove only once that morning to hard boil some eggs for Mac and I felt certain I clicked the knob fully to the “off” position.  I mean, I wasn’t in a hurry when I did it.  He wasn’t even awake yet, so I wasn’t distracted.  And furthermore, how had I not noticed the smell well before we left for our walk if the gas had been on all that time?

Then it occurred to me:  The burner I turned off WAS NOT the burner I used to cook eggs early that morning.  It was a FRONT BURNER.

So that meant unless the cats, who surely do want me dead, had figured out how to turn the knob absent opposable thumbs, that MAC did it sometime just before we left for our walk.

Now, I can’t speculate on his motives, but he did have opportunity.  I sent two very quick emails just before we left the house and I ran downstairs very quickly to SURPRISE use the bathroom just before we left.  He could have very easily turned the knob during any of these times my attention wasn’t fully trained on him.

So. . . .now if you need to use the stove at our place, you have to ask me for a knob. . .



Kids are a pain in the ass.



10 Responses to “What’s THAT Smell?”

  1. Mary Ann says:

    About that last comment–why do you think we stuck 5 girls in the basement to play????? Oh the beautiful noise that arose( five girls giggling and screaming)

  2. Dani Ryan says:

    Shit. Now I have something else I have to worry about?! 😉
    Dani Ryan recently posted…A Cheapo Wino Wednesday Review!My Profile

  3. Jennifer says:

    You just made me very happy that I have an electric stove with knobs at the back….
    Jennifer recently posted…Planting PassionMy Profile

  4. Carol says:

    You are so brave. I would have stopped cold in the entry, peeing my pants for sure. I once left the oven on in our RV and when I returned to find the place thick in the smell of gas, I fixed the problem, opened the windows and didn’t move for like two hours for fear I would spark a fire.

    • admin says:

      I was pretty nervous. We were really lucky we weren’t gone for the day or something. Scary right?!

  5. Seriously, that is the best common sense kid-proofing I’ve ever seen! Have you seen all the crap that is out there for adding plastic covers to the knobs with locks & child proofing?

    It’s crazy.

    I am SO glad that nothing unfortunate happened.

    You are right, kids are a total pain in the ass. I have been luck enough not to ever have this happen, but was boiling water one time when I ran to the bathroom and one of the twins started screaming – she reached up and thankfully the heat of the stovetop itself was too hot for her to touch she never made it to the pot or flame. A little boo-boo buddy and she was fine.
    The Next Step recently posted…D is for DifferentMy Profile

    • admin says:

      It only takes a split second! I have had moments where I’m in the bathroom for just a minute and wonder if a knife is too close to the edge of the counter. . .crazy stuff like that.

      The childproofing stuff is ridiculous. . .and it seems out of the few latches, etc. we tried, Mac eventually outsmarted 75% of them. It’s just better to NOT have anything dangerous or valuable around for at least 15 years. Ha!