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April Fool’s Jokes. . .And a Toddler

April fool 2  I love me a good April Fool’s joke.  

All the years I was gainfully employed, I had plenty of opportunities to partake in April Fools Jokes.  It started early in my working career at Wendy’s.  In fact one day wasn’t even enough for all the jokes we played upon one another to pass the time.  There were faux turds in the urinal (you’d be surprised what you can do with some ground beef). . .Prank phone calls from “Dave Thomas Founder of Wendy’s,” and requests for the manager to search the dining room for a customer named Jen Italwarts.  (Yes, he fell for it).  The joking never stopped.

But now I’m home all day.  With a toddler.  

He has a great sense of humor but we just aren’t quite there yet in terms of April Fool’s gags.

I tried though. . .Oh how I tried to come up with a good prank I could pull on him!

 

Here are a few April Fool’s pranks I would NOT recommend trying on a toddler:  

1.  Give him “chocolate chip” pancakes which really contain RAISINS.

2.  Borrow a puppy. . .as soon as the kid is excited about it, return it.

3.  Give him the TV remote (or a couple of flashlights) but remove the batteries so it doesn’t work.

4.  Loosen the heads on her baby dolls so they all fall off the minute she picks them up.  Extra points if you can stage blood gushing at the appropriate moment.

5.  Tell him you’re going to see Thomas the Train.  Sit at a train crossing in your car for several hours while you read your Twitter feed.

6.  Promise you’ll take her to Chuck E Cheese.  Take her to the corner bar and let her play the video poker game for several hours while you have a couple of beers.

7.  Offer candy.  Prunes.  Insist they are candy. . .nature’s candy.

8.  Make your child’s least favorite foods.  Package it in a “Happy Meal” bag.  Watch the hilarity ensue.  Bonus points if the “toy” includes a rectal thermometer or other dreaded item.

9.  Milkshake = a green vegetable smoothie.

10.  Borrow a baby.  Tell them it’s here “for good.”

Happy April Fool’s Day!  What was your all-time favorite prank?

The tenacity of this plant ain't no damned joke.

The tenacity of this plant ain’t no damned joke.