Home » DO NOT PANIC!!! It’s Just Another Explosion of Parental STUPIDITY

DO NOT PANIC!!! It’s Just Another Explosion of Parental STUPIDITY

Oh, if only I had a nickel for every time I told myself not to panic!  

My inept parenting skills get me into plenty of dire situations but this time could be the worst yet:  I COMBINED MY INEPT PARENTING SKILLS WITH A REASONABLE SUGGESTION FROM MY HUSBAND!

NEVER, never try this. . .it’s like fire and gasoline. . .A massive explosion of STUPID is bound to occur. . .And we all know the damage exacted by STUPID takes a long time to repair. . .  

On Saturday, we visited my sister and her family to finally celebrate Christmas.  They got Mac WAY too many goodies.  One of those goodies was this little VTech toy that kinda’ looks like a lap top but has just a few colorful buttons.  You can press the buttons to hear songs and the alphabet and other educational things.

Mac was completely in LOVE with the thing as soon as he laid eyes on it.  Seriously.  I think it even topped B. Woofer and our iPhones.  YES.  That good.

In Mac’s crib, we keep a couple of interactive toys.  (Like the Laugh and Learn Creepy as Hell Puppy).  He likes to play with them until he dozes off and he also likes to play with them when he gets awake.

Typically, he’ll play with his toy for five or ten minutes and go to sleep.  And in the morning, he seems to like to take his time getting awake, so sometimes he’ll play with that toy for 15 minutes or better until he has any real interest in getting out of the crib.  (I of course, find this aspect magical as it enables me to get his breakfast ready without drama. . .well, his drama at least).

So while we were driving home from my Sister’s listening to Mac play happily with his new toy, Chris suggested we place it in his crib, reasoning perhaps he was bored with Creepy as Hell Puppy.

I thought that was a great idea!

Yesterday morning, I put the VTech toy in the crib.

After listening to him play with it for 40 minutes during nap time, I was beginning to think it wasn’t such a great idea.  At the hour mark, I was in a cold sweat. . .but he did fall asleep FINALLY.

Yet, in typical Reluctant Mother fashion, I lazily failed to fully evaluate the situation and left the VTech toy in the crib for bedtime. . .

A bedtime where the kid listened to Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star on nearly continuous loop for 1 hour and 37 minutes!!

Hubs:  “Do you think he fell asleep with his head on the button?!”

I place the baby monitor to my ear, straining to hear above the fan that we run in Mac’s room 24/7, “No.  Definitely not.  I can hear him spinning that little wheel thing.”

Hubs:  “Should I go in there and take it away?”


Now that I think about it, this was all your idea to begin with!!  You ARE out of your damned mind!  You and your reasonable suggestions!  

In my mind, I could see the charred remains of our heretofore peaceful sleeping habits, completely obliterated by our STUPID explosion.

A new day is dawning here. . .and I’m a little nervous.

Do I remove the toy from the crib this morning and let him play with it during the day?  Is he going to miss it come nap time and freak out?  Do I just leave it in there, with the rationale that so long as he’s resting quietly in his crib, who cares if he’s listening to music or playing?

WHAT?!  We can’t risk another Stupid bomb in this joint!  We must be more careful!

If my inept parenting skills are the gasoline, then the only logical thing for me to do is hide the matches. . .So from now on. . .I think I’ll. . .

Ask for Husband’s advice.  If it sounds reasonable, do exactly the opposite.

Crisis averted.

Don't mess with my VTech Devil Woman!

Don’t mess with my VTech Devil Woman!

No Responses to “DO NOT PANIC!!! It’s Just Another Explosion of Parental STUPIDITY”

  1. richardmax22 says:

    Electronics! My daughter is going through the same thing with her twins. I am quite sure these toys are the lead in to the game pads that adolescents now have permanently glued to their faces. And it all begins so innocently.

  2. Meghan says:

    LOL to ”Do you think he fell asleep with his head on the button?!”… your stories are always such a good laugh! I wouldn’t dare put toys in Avery’s crib. The kid would play for-EVER. He needs to chill out before bed… if anything stimulates him, he’ll be up all night!

  3. Hmmm, I’d have it disappear, but in about 30 years he’ll be complaining to a shrink about how his mom ruined his life by taking away his beloved toy during a pivotal developmental stage.