Home » Play Dates: Reluctant Mother is Clueless

Play Dates: Reluctant Mother is Clueless

This morning started out crazy good.  I was up early and positively crushing my to-do list.  Mac got awake a bit earlier than usual and ate quickly so we were out the door sooner than I anticipated.

That’s when I ran into the neighbor at the end of the street.

She has a son almost exactly one month younger than Mac and a 3 week old.  (Yes, you read that correctly she has children about 16 months apart).

We were chatting for a few minutes, when she mentioned she wouldn’t be returning to work and she suggested we make some plans for Mac and her son to play together.

We have known her and her husband on a superficial level for years.  And I can’t think of one reason to dislike them.  (Shocking, I realize).  And from what I can tell based on my limited knowledge, they would probably be a great bunch to add to our circle of friends. (Which frankly, after having Mac, has shrunk to the pets in our house and my in-laws.  It’s a sad state of affairs.)

Yet, I’m not sure I’m ready for play date commitments.  

I know Mac would probably love it.  And I’m sure it would be good for him developmentally.  I’m still just not sure.

Maybe part of it is I’m simply unclear about the actual logistics and protocol for play dates?

When you have toddlers, do both parents stay for the entire play date or does one get to run to the corner bar to slam shots for 45 minutes?

What happens if I discover we aren’t really compatible?  What if she hates my snark and the fact that I eat all of the cookies when I’m invited for playtime?  What if I find out she plans to lock her kid under the stairs for non-compliant behavior?

What if I just don’t effing feel like leaving the house at scheduled play date time?  Do I have to be an adult and go or can I just blame it on the kid and say he’s having a rough day?  Exactly how many times can I get away with this before she hates me?

I fear it’s going to mushroom. . .Will other parents on the block will want in too and I’ll get stuck buying holiday and birthday presents for every kid on the block?

What do you actually DO with two 16-month olds during a play date?  Let’s face it, it’s an in-between stage.  They aren’t ready to tackle the playground on their own but they aren’t completely helpless. . .I’m guessing they are at an age where they are most suited to share snot. . .which is not appropriate for any outing referred to as a “date” as far as I’m concerned.

This is going to require so much extra cleaning on my part isn’t it?

If I’m just going over to her place to hang out can I just wear whatever I slept in?

How awkward is it going to be when I have to say her name?  I’ve been talking to her for at least 7 years and I’m not sure it it’s Christina, Christine, Kristen. . .This alone makes me want to avoid a play date at all costs.

Although. . .Cold weather is coming and I’m sure our walks and outdoor adventures are going to be limited. . .So the idea of having another kid do the work of tiring Mac out for nap time, is appealing – at least in theory.

Thoughts or stories to share?

No Responses to “Play Dates: Reluctant Mother is Clueless”

  1. sarcasmica says:

    Doooo it! Its like dating. The first date is the hardest.. then you get a feel for what shes really like. Then you have the painful wait for the second playdate. “Was it me, was it my kid, was it the unidentifiable stain on my pants and shirt?!”
    But if you get to that second playdate, you’re golden! Just litter the floor with a few age-appropriate toys and let them go to town! Good luck

  2. OMG, I’m so relieved someone else feels like this. Remember how gung-ho I was about buying a house and meeting my new group of mom friends? Ya, we’re not moving and I’m not sure if I want to anymore. And I’m not sure if I would fit in with those moms anyway. I did meet a chick that lives close by who has been hounding me to get together. In fact, I was supposed to get back to her by Monday on a day that works for me this week, and I still haven’t emailed her back. Because I like the flexibility in my day. I’m just used to being alone with The Kid, I guess. And it just seems like so much work. Plus, she’s teaching her kid Austrian before English…so what’s the freaking point?

    Let me know what happens. If you are allowed to go and pound shots at the bar on these play dates, then maybe I’ll be more prone to setting them up myself…

    OMG – I just found your email subscription button. How useless AM I?

    • Deni Lyn says:

      I think I’ll give it a go and keep you posted. If it’s a disaster, at least I’ll have a good story. Unfortunately, I think you can’t pound shots until at least the third date. Ha!

      Glad you found the subscription button! I probably have it in a very obscure spot. I can just do the bare minimum when it comes to tech stuff.

  3. Keep me posted…

    And how the hell did this woman have 2 kids in such a short time frame?!

    Glad I found the subscription button as I don’t have to stalk your blog 3,000 times everyday to see when you post! And FYI – the “follow” button is noticeable. I’m just a ditz.

    • Deni Lyn says:

      I typo-ed the time frame. . .She has a nearly 16-month old and a 3 WEEK old. . .I ran into her husband the other day, poor thing looked like a zombie. I’m guessing the kids are “winning.” Ha.

  4. Maria says:

    Aw, give it go… And don’t worry about calling her by the wrong name – just go with “Chris.” She’ll correct you if she prefers otherwise and you can just laugh about the “Chris” in your life….

  5. Meghan says:

    I haven’t done a real play date before… But I can suggest you get her phone number at the date and give your phone to her to input her info… That you can get her name without asking!! Haha

    • Deni Lyn says:

      That’s an EXCELLENT idea!!! I read your post today. I’m so glad Avery is sleeping through the night pretty consistently now. I have no idea how you did it! Although, I guess when you are going through it, you basically have no other option BUT to keep on going. 🙂

      • Meghan says:

        EXACTLY. When people ask me ‘HOW do you DO it!?” I say… I just do. If I didn’t chug along, Avery wouldn’t be as happy and healthy as he is right now. I do everything I can… even if it means being a zombie for months… I’ll survive. He’s worth it 🙂