I won’t be sleeping tonight.
And it’s not the kid.
Dear Barbara, I’m sitting here twitching.
I just went to the basement to get some laundry from the dryer.
And the biggest freaking roach I’ve EVER seen went scurrying across the floor in front of me.
I nearly stopped breathing.
Cover me in spiders, snakes, heck, I’d probably be ok with a few leaches.
I am not ok with roaches.
We live in an urban area, a relatively clean neighborhood, but still in an urban area and sometimes when the weather cools, these things happen.
But it hasn’t happened in at least half a dozen years.
So I had become a little complacent, figuring I’d never see one of these vile beasts inside my home ever again.
And now I’m just freaking out.
FREAKING OUT!!! FREAKING OUT!!!!
Like I want to get my Husband awake, make him gut the basement, and call the emergency exterminator as a precautionary measure ASAP.
I stomped the bejesus out of it. While wearing a flip-flop. I’m not even sure I can go down there to deal with the carcass.
And the dryer is still running.
Could there be more?
I can’t even think about it.
What about the cats’ food? What about our toothbrushes? What about the wine I’m desperately wanting? It’s down there too. . .
I think I might be having heart palpitations. . .
I’ll check WebMD. Self diagnosing an obscure disease will hopefully distract me from the current roach “infestation.”
I just heard the dryer ding. I was planning on showering down there tonight. I’m living the roach version of Psycho.
Listen Mr. C. Roach, you might cause me a sleepless night but I’m not going to be intimidated.
We’ll see how tough you and your known associates (possible mice and other pests) are in a few short hours when the emergency exterminator arrives.
Until then, we’ll be sleeping with the lights on. . .clearly these asshole cats are worthless.