Home » Two Valuable Parenting Lessons, Reluctant Mother Style

Two Valuable Parenting Lessons, Reluctant Mother Style

You might recall in my last post, I decided to be somewhat uncharacteristically kind and non-judgmental of fellow Mother I encountered in the Park.

Yeah.  That feeling was nice while it lasted. . .

Yesterday, Mac and I took a long walk to Fells Point.  We hadn’t been to the area in a while and the weather was so nice, I decided why not?  The only things holding us back where my usual daily battles with dog hair, cat puke, and the laundry.

I’m so glad we went.  I learned some valuable parenting lessons!

Let’s start with the disgustingly dirty, dreadlocked 20-something chicks in the ripped clothes.  At first I felt a little sympathetic for them.  I mean, what 20-something wants to walk around barefoot in a torn circa 1992 dress?   However, my sympathies turned to annoyance when I realized they were carrying backpacks that cost as much as a dinner for two at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.  Ech.

Clearly, they weren’t victims of the City’s lackluster social services system. . .They appeared to be the offspring of parents of at least modest means and they apparently dislike soap and the establishment.

I don’t mind if you are anti-establishment, but come on, at least be authentic.  You don’t have to pretend to be homeless to effectively bring about social change.  Sitting at the corner of Broadway and Thames with an expensive backpack and a guitar, staring at your smart phone is likely not going to help you change the world.

Where are their parents?  Dear lord, I’d be a wreck if I knew my daughter was wandering the streets barefoot day and night, eating a steady diet of processed Subway lunch meats, skipping bath time.

Granted part of me would also be pretty angry.  Clearly, those $35,000 annual payments to the private liberal arts school of her choosing was a complete waste of my resources.

Lesson:  Try not to raise lazy assholes.

Then we encountered Pigeon Boy and his derelict Mother.

Call me crazy (that’s fair), but I don’t think you should allow your kids to taunt animals.  Any animal.  Ever.  Period.  Animals are unpredictable.  And frankly, it’s just not nice to harass them.

Mac and I sat on a bench throwing Cheerios to the pigeons and house sparrows.  Mac is really into feeding the wildlife these days and he was enjoying himself.  So you can imagine how annoyed I was when some dingaling unleashed her 4-year-old son on the unsuspecting birds.

He came barreling towards the birds at breakneck speed making some loud, annoying growling sounds.  The birds fled.  He and the Mother laughed and laughed.  The birds came back.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.

I glared at the Mother while quietly explaining to Mac that what that little boy was doing wasn’t nice and we never, never approach any animal in that manner – not even a pigeon.

Jesus, there’s a playground two blocks away.  Leave the birds alone already.

Lesson 2:  Unless you want your kid to grow up and get mauled by a bear, or become a serial killer, don’t stand idly by while they taunt animals.

That’s all I have for now.  You’re welcome.