It has always been our desire for Mac to have at least one sibling.
Watch now as Deni clumsily opens a huge ass can of worms. . .
In a perfect world, there would be three siblings. We would have 2 and adopt 2.
But we live in a world of 900 some odd square feet of pet plagued squalor.
I’m not completely sold on the idea of being pregnant again, but I am firm in my resolve that Mac will have a sibling. And I’m 36. And we don’t want them too far apart in age.
So either we have to time being drunk and extremely stupid just right or else We need to make a decision soon.
Oh how I waffle. There are days when I think I could definitely handle a 2-year-old and an infant.
Ok. I had part of one day where I thought I could definitely handle it. . .
Honestly, I can’t even wrap my brain around the logistics of it all.
It’s not that I have concerns about my capacity to unconditionally and completely love another child. It’s more that I’m concerned about having enough time, patience, energy to fully focus on each child as needed, plus the house, the pets. . .right, and my Husband too.
The details are both mind-numbing and terrifying.
If the decision to have one child was agonizing, I can’t even tell you how agonizing deciding to have a subsequent has become. . .
Where will the baby sleep? Will the baby sleep? What if I’m terribly ill this pregnancy and Mac doesn’t get adequate attention? Oh My Gawd, what if there’s bed rest involved? Is Mac still at an age where all my attention should be fully focused on him? How am I going to chase Mac around when I’m 38 weeks pregnant and miserable? I hate being pregnant. Do I try to “time” it so their actual birthday’s are spread out? What if I time it so they are close together? Would they hate me for having to share a birthday party on an annual basis? Why did I get rid of all those new-born clothes already? What if we’re tempting fate and a this baby isn’t as healthy or happy as Mac? What is the added emotional and financial stress going to do to our marriage?
Am I the only freak that agonizes about such things continually?
Do normal folks just toss their profalactics in the trash and jump in the sack and try to enjoy the moment?
If I’m waffling this much maybe I already know the answer?
TICK TOCK. . .TICK TOCK. . .TICK TOCK. . .