Home » Reluctant Mother is Going Bonkers. . .Attempts Attitude Adjustment.

Reluctant Mother is Going Bonkers. . .Attempts Attitude Adjustment.

This isn’t going to end well. . .

Things around here are starting to make me bonkers.  I’m not sure why?  It’s not as if anything has changed dramatically. . .Perhaps it was being stuck in the house for a few days while the asphalt practically melted outside in the record-breaking heat?

At any rate, I’m all kinds of annoyed. . .by things that need addressed in the house, by Mac’s whacked out getting up in the middle of the night inexplicably, by his incessant attempts to rip everything out of Daddy’s desk on a daily basis, by the endless cycles of dirty dishes and laundry. . .and by our upcoming vacation.

Yes.  Vacation has me all in a snit.

Typically when we vacation, (which isn’t very often), we pick the most ridiculously priced hotel we can find.  We avail ourselves to every amenity.  There is no cooking, no cleaning, no making the bed (although sometimes I do straighten the sheets before housekeeping gets there).  There is fancy coffee, late night room service, and mini-bars.  And even the kid is treated like a little prince.  I only have to ask and there are bell-boys at the ready, helping me drag around his gear, setting up a complimentary crib, partially emptying the mini-bar to accommodate his bottles and snacks.

But this time we’re trying something different.  We’re going with Chris’ family to a destination that is a considerable drive away (with few options for alternative transport – like say a PLANE).  And we’re not staying at a hotel.  They’ve rented a house.  A massive house – where you need to bring your own everything.

Do you know how much junk is necessary for a trip like this?!! The house isn’t kiddie-proofed, there are potential disasters lurking in every corner.   Everyone is supposed to share the cooking and cleaning responsibilities.

I’m exhausted after just making the lists of crap we need!  I mean the booze I’m going to require is going to take up half the backseat!  I already cook and clean for three everyday. . .How is it a vacation to do the same for 13 or more?!

The thought of beach towels the other day nearly gave me an existential crisis.  We don’t have beach towels.  When we go to a pool or beach, towels are typically provided and since space is so limited in our house, it’s not something I keep lying around.  But now we need them.  To buy or not to buy?  If I purchase them, I know come next January in a fit of spring cleaning, I’ll be sick of storing them so I’ll give them to the Goodwill.  First world problems, I realize but still, GAH, it’s one more thing I would rather not have to consider while my kid is slamming his fingers in a massive wood desk drawer.

And the drive?  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous as hell about that.  It’s probably a 7 hour drive.  With a 14 month old.  We talked about breaking it up with overnight stops at the half way points.  But then we decided that we’d rather save our money for a proper stay somewhere fancy come fall bird migration.  So we’re doing the drive straight through. . .unless of course I end up in a mental hospital somewhere around the 5 hour mark.

And then there’s the pressure, Chris’ family is so nice and they have been kindly insisting we stay longer than our planned 2 or 3 nights.  It’s very kind of them.  And I feel guilty about not wanting to stay longer.  But I know my limits.

I don’t often stay with anyone – even my own family in a “common” area for more than 3 nights.  There’s just too much activity, too many people, too much noise, too many personalities (specifically my own, which starts to morph into seething passive aggressive bitch with too many people around.  I’m more of a loner.)  The kid is going to be all cranked up, refusing to sleep properly, we’re going to be exhausted from travel and keeping a watch on his every move.  It’s best to keep things short. . .so I can remain somewhat sweet.

So as I sit here wondering if that pain in my back is a bout of shingles erupting from all of this agonizing and bitching I’ve been doing over this “vacation,” I’ve decided I need to adjust my attitude.

This is not a vacation.  This is a trip.  We are taking a trip to visit with family.  I shouldn’t have any expectations of room service or housekeeping or even relaxing.  It’s something that Mac (won’t remember) but we’ll be able to show him photos one day. . .And when a debacle or 10 occurs, as they surely will, I’ve promised myself I’m going to laugh about it instead of being a bitter little bitch. . .

Please pray specifically for my Husband.  As we all know, even my best made plans never pan out as expected. . .and because if I don’t see a red cockaded woodpecker on this trip, I’m going to lose all ability to manage my own expectations.

No Responses to “Reluctant Mother is Going Bonkers. . .Attempts Attitude Adjustment.”

  1. hnMom says:

    Boy, sounds like you are really overwhelmed by it all and who could blame you.
    Being cooped up in the house with Livi for several days when the heat strikes or it won’t stop raining, always makes me feel awful.
    And to have a “trip” like this to look forward to does not make things easier. I’ll be honest, I do not envy you. Vacations will never be the same or quite as relaxing once you have kids because of all the mommy duties. But at least you get a change in the day to daying. But what you guys have planned is a completely different story. I’ll pray for all of you. Hopefully, it will turn out better than you dare to hope.
    P.S. I could not stand being in a house with so many people. That’s not a pleasant thought at all.

    • Deni Lyn says:

      HI! I’m feeling better after. . .well, after cleaning. I don’t know why but cleaning somehow makes things better Ha! I’m not one to get in a “funk” very often but between the weather and my apprehension about this trip, my attitude was definitely starting to suck. I’ve just decided to embrace everything and let’er rip and we’ll see what happens. You are correct, it’s ALWAYS worse in your mind. We’re going to make a lot of great memories – even if they are born out of my personal misery at the present. Ha!

      PS – It’s a HUGE house, but I’m still freaked out. I HATE HATE HATE so many people in one space. There’s just too great a chance of having a bathroom door ripped open by your second cousin twice removed while you are using the loo. I love my in-laws, but I will NEVER understand why they feel the need to be literally SO CLOSE. Hotels people. Hotels. No cooking, no cleaning, no risk of seeing one another naked! Sheesh. It’s a no-brainer.

      • hnMom says:

        Glad you’re feeling better! I hate cleaning but it always makes me feel better once I’m done. Ha!
        At least you get along with your in-laws, that’s a huge plus right there.
        But I agree, hotels are a much better choice, you get some privacy and quiet when you need it and you are still all close together. Oh well.
        You know what I do in situations like that? I concentrate on the fun Livi is having (and hopefully Mac will have fun) and the happy face of my husband (his family also likes to be on top of each other all the time). It usually helps.
        And you can always use Mac as an excuse if you want to stay back or need a break. 😉

        • Deni Lyn says:

          My in-laws are wonderful people. Sometimes I snark a little about them, but they really are so, so nice and they try so hard to do anything they can for their children and grandchildren. Chris’ siblings are also ah-mazing and fun. . .but that doesn’t mean I want to share bathrooms with them. Ha! Thanks for the advice about focusing more on Mac and Chris. They make it all worthwhile for sure!

  2. Georgina says:

    I too hate being a ‘guest’ – especially where you’re not really (no slacking privileges). I hate thinking about it too, puts me in a cold sweat, knowing I’ll have to perform the whole time, whereas on a real holiday, it’s about lazing and slobbing and enjoying. My tip for towels – buy a sarong. Keeps the sand off and looks good with swimsuits! And use a regular bathroom towel. I’m so helpful… 🙂

    • Deni Lyn says:

      Thanks for the tip! My Mother-In-Law very kindly offered up some extra beach towels they have (and I’m bringing a sarong – which might be devoured by my fat rolls ha! – so the extra towels will come in handy. It is difficult when you are with a lot of folks, it’s hard to completely relax, but that’s ok. I have an improved attitude and I’m hoping my Husband completely enjoys himself and we’ll take a proper lazy holiday a little later this year.

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