Home » What An Asshole: The Sequel

What An Asshole: The Sequel

Last evening, I drafted a post admitting how guilty I felt that Chris is stuck shouldering all the financial burdens for our family and working outside the home, especially because I am enjoying my son soooooooo much. . .well for now at least.

And you know what?  I had no sooner hit the publish button until my poor beleaguered husband came storming down the stairs in a total snit. He started ranting about how he was going out-of-town for work and “apparently I didn’t even care enough to come upstairs and spend time with him.”

Since I had cared enough to pack him snacks and treats. . .  And I laundered and dried a pair of pants and shirt because he specifically requested I do so. . .And I drug the suitcase out of the basement for him. . .And since he had been asleep for at least 2 hours at that point. . .

I laughed at him.  

It was the most ridiculous statement he’s made in at least two days.

Forchrissakes, he’s going to Orlando.  For a night.  To perform some indoor air quality assessments.  It’s not like he’s going to some war-torn country for the next 6 months on some humanitarian mission!

I know it was rude to laugh at him, but it all I could think in my head was how ridiculous the accusation was.  I wasn’t aware I was expected to lie in bed awake while he slept just so I could “spend some time with him” prior to a 24 hour business trip.

And of course it escalated.  And he slept on the couch.  And he didn’t bother to say good bye this morning when he walked out of the house at about 5AM.  And he was certain to slam the door hard enough to make sure Mac got awake.  Very mature.  Well played.

And I’m considering changing the locks.  

And I’ve especially been thinking about that post I wrote last evening.  I’m retracting it.  I don’t feel guilty.

HE should feel guilty.

This sack of sugar is headed to Orlando ALONE, to a nice hotel where he won’t have to clean up after himself or anyone else.   He has a generous per diem so he can dine ALONE in silence.  His food won’t be cold, he won’t have to get up 12 times to pick things off the floor, someone’s nose, or dice up more grapes.  He took his running shoes so before his damned enjoyable dinner he can have a lovely run and shower ALONE.


And when he returns?  I’ll still be here, likely dicing up grapes, probably in the same shitty clothes I had on when he left, waiting for my apology.

Apparently, we are both assholes.


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  1. OMG, I loved this. While I don’t get any guilt trips prior to business trips, I have to admit I get REALLY annoyed when I see those fucking runners go into my hubs suitcase before he leaves. It’s just a reminder that he gets to go out for a nice meal, socialize with adults, go to bed late, sleep in late, golf, go for a swim, go for a run…I could go on and on, but it’s just making my blood boil, so I’ll leave it at that. He’s off for a 5-6 day conference at the beginning of June. But, you know, it’s “business”, so it’s not “fun”. Pfft. Whatever.

    • Deni Lyn says:

      Whatever exactly! I’m fortunate Chris doesn’t often have multiple day “conferences.” I know they are more play than work. My blood would be boiling about it too.

      Even if you and Bubbs could go and make a little vacay out of it, the truth is, you’d still have all the responsibility of caring for her in a hotel room AND packing AND the clean up afterwards. That hardly sounds enjoyable.

      I have to admit, if Chris offered me an option to go away by myself for a night or three, I’m not sure I’d do it. . .but that won’t stop me from complaining when he gets to.

      No matter how much he helps, (and it’s a LOT), I still think to myself sometimes, he spends about 2 hours in the car in silence commuting and then he goes running before dinner ALONE.

      And I KNOW he’s thinking I’m so lucky to be with Mac every waking minute (and I am). . .

      I don’t think unless we win the lottery (which we don’t play) we can make it exactly “balanced.” We all try so hard don’t we? And at least we can laugh about it when we fail miserably. Hahaha.

      • So, I have to ask… Did he call/email/text you last night? And has he apologized?!

        I have another pet peeve – golf season. It’s starting. On Friday. So freaking annoying. But, you know, it’s “work”, so it’s not like it’s fun or anything. Pfft.

        • Deni Lyn says:

          The thing about my Husband is he’s really sensitive and thoughtful and caring. REALLY.

          And I’m not. I’m a sarcastic, snarky, passive-aggressive, little badger.

          So I just went ahead and texted him the next morning and I apologized for hurting his feelings.

          The truth is, I did feel badly about hurting him. That’s not what I endeavor to do. Even if he was acting like a little bitch, he was apparently upset over the situation, so I needed to acknowledge it and apologize.

          I’ve learned perception counts for a lot – professionally and personally.

          And he came home and everything has been just fine since. It was a trivial argument. We seldom fight.

          And THANK GOD he doesn’t golf!

          My brother in law golfs. (He also happens to be my ex-boyfriend). Yes. You read that correctly. My sister married my ex-boyfriend. LOL. We all hate when he golfs!!!

      • Hee hee. I’m the sensitive (and bitchy) one in our relationship, but my husband hasn’t mastered the whole apology thing yet. 🙂 He is good at knowing when to send me “don’t stress about !” texts though – he has learned I will sit and stew all day if he doesn’t!

        WHAT?! Your sister married your ex-boyfriend? Wow… How awkward is that? Did you date him long?

        • Deni Lyn says:

          YES! My sister married my ex-boyfriend. We dated a while. Seriously dated. Years. Thought for a while I might marry him.

          There are no hard feelings at this point. I moved on before they ever started dating.

          I gave the toast at their wedding. It started out “Jason, welcome to the family! Lord knows you’ve been hanging around long enough.”

          Everyone laughed. And my sweet sister told be it was ok to say beforehand.

  2. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I get the same thing from Husbot. Who drives north twice a month to do business. Six hours each way. Six hours of silence. Then another eight hours of unbroken sleep. Then….coffee, hot, before, say, ten a.m. Long ago, I got over it. The guilt, I mean. At staying up working the night before he left. During the only ninety minutes I’d had to myself that day. Since 5:30 a.m. He can do the math.
    Never met you, love you for this.

    • Deni Lyn says:

      Aw. Thanks! It’s not easy for anyone – everything we have to juggle – but we can at least get a good laugh out of it sometimes.

  3. Oh my god, I can’t even tell you how many fights my husband and I have had like this! The drama! I’m curious, how long have you been married? We’re coming up on seven years, so I keep wondering if it’ll get easier 🙂

    – Evanthia

    • Deni Lyn says:

      I should probably mention that we seldom fight. However, my husband is pretty sensitive and thoughtful. . .And well, I’m just snarky and not. . .So I’m in trouble for that a LOT. . .

      We started dating in early 2000. Got married in Oct of 2005. So nearly 7 years married like you.

      In our house it’s going to get easier when I can stop being such a snarky pain in the neck.

      So NEVER! Bah haha

      Seriously though, I know both my husband and I work really hard to be considerate most of the time – which is why I find it a little funny when we have a tiff over ridiculous things.

      You can poll him on his thoughts on the whole deal. He can tweet you in the wee hours from the sofa. HA!