Home » You Know What Else Happens to Jackasses Who Eat Brownies for Breakfast?

You Know What Else Happens to Jackasses Who Eat Brownies for Breakfast?

They apparently crack toilet seats. . .

The week in review:

1.  I have been slightly jerked around by some out-of-town company which involved cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. . . for no apparent gawddamned reason because they didn’t stay with us anyway as planned arrggggghhhhh!

2.  Since I’ve discovered that my son shuts up when I take off all his clothes, I’ve been peed on more than a cheap hooker.  But hey, he’s happy.

3.  I sat on our toilet seat and it cracked.  I’m sure this doesn’t happen to other smart, beautiful, fat bitches like Oprah.  I’m planning to duct tape it.  No new toilet seat until I lose 10 pounds.  It’s good to have goals right?

4.  The orange cat(s) vomited on the main floor back window sill, the mirrored chest in our living room, beside the back door, and beside the washing machine.  Newsflash:  Anti-furball cat food is about as useful as a I am in a P-Chem mid-term.  (Not-at-fucking-all)

5.  Saw an amazing and FREE exhibit at the Baltimore Museum of Art – Print by Print from Durer to Lichtenstein.  I found it mind-boggling.  I love stenciling, stamping, and that sort of thing but I never really had any concept of how intricate printmaking can be.  Also?!  Slurped an awesome 1/2 dozen oysters at Gertrude’s afterwards.  Aaaaahhhhhh. . .the Chincoteaque’s – always my favorite. . .not too salty, not too sweet, smooth, juicy and full-bodied. . .The cream of crab was pretty good.  They O’Malley’s Powerhouse sandwich was stuffed full of vegetarian sprouty goodness.  But oh the oysters!!  This time last year during the “R” months, I couldn’t get near a raw oyster because I was pregnant.  IT. SUCKED.

6.  Tested out the heat in the house this evening to make sure it worked properly.  It got cold here all of a sudden. . .Since late fall seems to have finally announced its presence, we realized both Father and Son somehow both misplaced their winter hats!    And since I have a budget to maintain and a toilet seat to replace, I decided that I could surely use some of the materials I have in my fabric stash to make my two handsome fellows new hats. . .And I’ll be damned if I didn’t do it!  For real hats!!!  Don’t ask the tally on the collateral resources necessary (about 4 hours over 2 nights -about 2 holding kid at the same time, 8 beers. . .maybe 9. . .12 triscuits, half a cucumber sliced, and nearly a vat of blue cheese dip. . .then I lost count!!!)

That leads me to my big, bright, end of the week NO SHIT idea!  I’m going to post a tutorial in the next couple days showing how to make a super easy, nearly no-sew (I swear!)  fleece tassel/pom-pom, ski hat.  Along with said “You can accomplish this before your head effing explodes” tutorial, I’m offering a give away. . .I’ll make at least one hat to give away. . .And in the spirit of the upcoming holidays, I might have a little sum-sum-thin’more.  Check back for the train wreck err tutorial and give-away guidelines.

Love and Hugs. . .We all survived another week.  Happy Weekend!!

No Responses to “You Know What Else Happens to Jackasses Who Eat Brownies for Breakfast?”

  1. When I was nine months and two weeks (aaagh!) pregnant with my first, I slipped in the bathtub during a shower, crashed into the tiles, and made a giant 200-lb-9-months pregnant woman indentation in the tub wall… Turned out the drywall was all rotten and soft behind it, and it was probably just a matter of time before *someone* broke it… but I was devastated. To put your cracked toilet seat in perspective. Great post!