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NOOOOOOO!!!!

NOT THE VAGINA!!!! (Educator-Approved)

Kids.  Crack. Me. Up.  (And have led to my almost cracking.  Why won’t they sleep?!) So a few months ago, we were in the restroom at Safeway and Mac screams “Mommy, I want a vagina!” Now this was something I didn’t expect to hear until he was a teenager, but his request was heard loud and clear by everyone else
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What the Shit? Cancer Bear?!

We’re no strangers to solicitors.  They are routine visitors in our neighborhood.  Sometimes, we open the door.  Sometimes we do not. Although we’ve been opening the door a lot more frequently. . .ever since Mac has discovered a knock at the door often equates to a package delivery.  And maaannnn does that kid love him a package delivery. One evening
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#happylifetweaks: Managing the Melissa & Doug Sticker Mess

A few years ago, I read a blog post discussing great quiet activities and toys for toddlers and preschoolers.  One of the suggested toys was the Melissa & Doug brand reusable sticker sets. Reusable stickers?  I was intrigued. A quick Amazon search revealed they’re basically like the Colorforms of my childhood – only way better. I loved Colorforms!  I HAVE
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Taking the Kids to See A Pair of Brown Boobies. . .

I can’t believe people still check my blog daily! THANK YOU!!!!  THANK YOU!! Anyway, we’re plugging along and Mac’s in preK 4 a couple of hours several days a week and Teddy attends a 2-year-old program once a week.  He’s like the damned mayor of that place. . .all “Hey, Ms. Cetta.”  It’s disgustingly adorable.  (Her name is Concetta but
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It’s Not Up to You. Because I Can. . .Or Could. . .And Will. (If I Want)

It’s been a long time. . .Sorry.  I have precious little time. . .Which is why I’ll just throw myself head first unceremoniously into this corner of the Internet and Go! (Slightly crazy on you). Chris and I seldom argue.  Sure, we get grumpy with one another at times.  Yet after nearly two decades together and two kids, and a
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Life With Toddlers: (Mostly) Lost In Translation

We’re reading Apple Farmer Annie by Monica Wellington. . . Me:  Look, Annie’s making a bundt cake. Mac:  Mac wants to make a cake. Me:  You need a special pan for that kind of cake.  You should ask Mimi Aunt Carol or Grandma if you can bake one. Mac:  Mimi Aunt Carol and Grandma are going to make BUTT cake!!!
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You Can Accomplish This Before Your Head Explodes: Beet Reuben

THIS.  WILL.  ROCK.  YOUR.  WORLD. I can’t even pretend to be this brilliant in the kitchen,  so here’s the LINK We cannot stop eating our CSA beets this way, added calories be damned. . . Trust me. Best Ev-Ah! PS:  Are you wondering if my kids eat sauerkraut and/0r beets?  Not in this mix.  However, they’ll try a plain beet.
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Rice Sock For Penis Hanging AND Hanging With Penises. . .

RICE SOCK FOR PENIS HANGING. This is apparently what’s been leading some of you to this dysfunctional corner of the Internet. I apologize, I haven’t a clue what a “rice sock for penis hanging” is. (I have a few mental images. . . .making me giggle in a nervous kinda he-hee.) Somewhat related, I recently learned from my three-year old
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Reluctant Mother v Dining With Grandpa: AM I WRONG?

WEIGH IN HERE.  I have a burning curiosity. . . TAKE YOUR KIDS TO A RESTAURANT.  THERE’S A PREDICTABLE MESS ON THE FLOOR.  DO YOU: A.) Make a reasonable attempt to clean up some of the mess.  It sets a good example for your children about being considerate, kind, and respectful.  Reinforces the message we are responsible for our own
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Good Bye Good Dog: Be Good, Watch the House, Ok? Whuvyou

5 AM:  I have a screaming, snotty, teething Teddy on my hip.  I’m slipping down the stairs in my socks. . .feels cold. . Thankfully, Chris has already made coffee.  Vigorously blinking to keep my contacts comfortably floating, I head to the place by the back door where we keep Satan’s Lap Hound’s gigantic stainless water bowl, lest Teddy attempt
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